DR. WALLACE: My family will be moving to St. Augustine, Florida, in three weeks, and I'm not happy about leaving Naples, Florida. I'm rather shy, and I have a difficult time making friends. I only have two friends in Naples, but the three of us are close.
Please tell me the best way to make new friends. I'll be in the 10th grade this fall. — Anonymous, Naples, Florida
ANONYMOUS: You are not alone in being shy. All of us, even people who appear to be outgoing, have a degree of shyness sometimes. The shyness appears when the person is placed in a situation where those in a group are feared to be of superior intelligence, to have more experience or to be more socially adept.
One excellent way to make friends is to smile in a friendly way and offer compliments (about them, their school, their town, etc.). We all like to hear nice comments about our communities and ourselves. We also typically think highly of a person who offers nice, heartfelt compliments in a sincere manner.
All high schools provide extracurricular activities including interscholastic athletic competition for boys and girls, clubs for those with common interests and even opportunities to work on a monthly campus newspaper or the school yearbook. Seek out a few activities that you might enjoy, and join the group! When you are with others who have similar interests, it is easier to get acquainted and, yes, make new friends.
Say nice things to your fellow students, and keep smiling as much as possible to bring positive results. Keep your smile going, even if you don't feel like smiling at first. I trust that soon enough your overt smiles will dissolve into completely natural ones as you meet and get to know your fellow students at your new school.
I WANT A COLLEGE DEGREE
DR. WALLACE: I had to drop out of school last year because of family difficulties. At the time, I was 18, earning good grades and on track to start college. Since the class I was in has now graduated, I took and passed the GED test and was given a high school diploma. I'm aware that the GED is not as good as a full diploma from a high school, but I still would like to attend college. Do colleges accept a GED for entrance? I want a college degree as soon as possible and sure hope I don't have to repeat my senior year of high school first. — Jose, Fullerton, California
JOSE: Even a normal high school diploma is not a guarantee for college or university admissions. But the General Equivalency Diploma (GED) is considered the equivalent of a high school diploma and qualifies you for admission to a college or university if, after an interview and testing, you are deemed to have the academic ability to complete the school requirements. There are several community colleges (Santa Ana College, Golden West College, Orange Coast College) near where you live. Make sure to talk to a counselor for at least one of them to see if a community college might be a good option for you now. Two years at a community college and two years at a four-year college or university will meet your goal — a college degree!
YOU JUST TOLD US
DR. WALLACE: Why in the world is it never made public that if smoking doesn't kill you, you could still live in agony, isolated at home with a breathing apparatus that has to be carried with you whenever you must leave the house?
Why don't schools have smokers with emphysema struggle into the classroom with their oxygen tanks and deliver the overwhelming message that cigarettes don't always kill but they cost their victims to suffer for countless years gasping for each breath? Why isn't this nightmare told? — Curious, Michigan City, Indiana.
CURIOUS: You just told it like it is! Thanks for provoking thought on this subject from a different perspective than the one we usually focus on. Cheers.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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