DR. WALLACE: Some time ago you wrote a column about the positive changes that take place once a smoker decides to stop smoking. It was informative, but at that time, it wasn't important for our family. Now it is.

Our 20-year-old son started working at a steel mill in our city about a year ago. After he was on the job for a couple of months, he started smoking. He's old enough to make his own decision, but my husband and I were very upset about his smoking. We did not lecture him about the evils of tobacco because it was his decision to start smoking, and he needs to make his own decision about quitting.

Then just a few days ago my husband told me that our son had mentioned to him that he was "thinking" about quitting his tobacco habit. We are now both anxious to share the positive aspects of quitting the smoking habit. It's important for us to share how his health will improve when he quits, so your help will be appreciated. — Mother, Youngstown, Ohio.

MOTHER: I'm sure your son is addicted to nicotine, so it will take a dedicated effort on his part to eliminate his smoking habit. I hope this information will encourage him to do just that! Once he makes the decision to stop smoking, here's what will happen:

1. Twenty minutes after smoking his last cigarette, his blood pressure and pulse rate drop to normal.

2. Within eight hours, the carbon monoxide and oxygen levels in the blood return to normal and smoker's breath disappears.

3. Within three days, he'll start to breathe easier.

4. Within one to nine months, he'll feel more energetic and cough less, and the cilia that sweep debris from his lungs will grow back.

5. Within two years, his risk of heart attack drops to near normal.

6. Finally, within five years, the lung cancer risk drops by half.

You might also mention to your son that besides being healthier, he will also be wealthier when the smoke is gone!

I CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP

DR. WALLACE: I dated a boy for over a year before we broke up four months ago. I have been trying to get over him, but I just can't stop thinking about him. We only cross paths every now and then, but I have never seen the girl he is now dating. Even though I have never met her, I know that I don't like her.

I love this guy so much that I cry myself to sleep nearly every night. I try to tell myself that he is a jerk and is not right for me, but this doesn't help at all. It's just not fair that a person can be so devastated about a breakup, yet the other person doesn't seem to care at all.

I know you will see the problems I'm having and I hope you will be able to help me to get over this guy. I really need your advice. — Mandy, Philadelphia, Pa.

MANDY: You've got to let this guy go. By staying home and feeling sorry for yourself, you're just prolonging the agony. Start getting involved in activities at school, at church, and in your community. Stay busy and meet new friends.

It won't take long, and when you get your life back, you'll be happy to say, "Who is that?" when asked about your ex.

SAY SORRY

DR. WALLACE: My friend and I both work in the same office. We recently had a huge fight and said mean things to each other. We haven't spoken to each other for six days.

I was right in the argument, but I would like to remain friends. I feel she should make the first move, but I'd like your opinion on who should apologize first. — Sad, Del Rio, Tex.

SAD: If you were "in the right," you have the better emotional footing for being the big person and to make the first move. Break the ice by saying, "I'm sorry," and tell her you missed her. Chances are, she will also tell you she's sorry.

In truth, this is a time to forget about right and wrong. In almost every such argument, both parties are partially in the right, and partially to blame — and the whole matter is trivial anyway, compared to the importance of the friendship that's at stake. Let it go. Good friends should be sharing good times, not trapped in a prison of silence!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.