DR. WALLACE: Please answer my letter. I really need your help. Last month I broke up with Rick because I thought I wanted to be free to date around and have one last fling in my senior year.

I now realize that it was a huge mistake to break up with him and I honestly think that God is now punishing me for being so stupid. First, my grandmother died, and then I wrecked the family car, and one of my best friends recently died.

My life is a total wreck. I need Rick now more than ever. The time we spent together was wonderful. He was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I really blew it by letting him go.

I want to tell Rick that I still care for him and want him back, but I don't know how to do so. Please help me. I care for him, but I haven't got the courage to face him. He lives in a town about 15 miles from me. — Nameless, Newark, N.J.

NAMELESS: You are not being punished. Things just seem more devastating when you can't share your grief and worries with someone close to you.

Write Rick a letter and tell him what you told me — that breaking up with him was a huge mistake and that the time you spent with him was wonderful. Let him know that you care for him and want to re-kindle the relationship. But do this in a spirit of generosity and concern for him, not one of fear for yourself.

He may or may not want to get back together with you, but either way he'll be warmed to know how deeply you care for him.

HIS BEHAVIOR IS NOT A MINOR PROBLEM

DR. WALLACE: I'm 19 and my fiance is 22. I'm a sophomore at the University of Kentucky and Josh is a senior. He will be starting graduate school in September of 2016.

I love Josh (I think), and we plan to be married after I graduate and get my teaching credential. He is a very kind and compassionate person and we have great times when we're together.

My only problem is that Josh is very jealous and very possessive. He wants to know everything I do when I'm not with him. And when I tell him, he always says, "Are you sure you're not leaving something out?" Then when I'm with him, he gets upset if I even glance at another guy. He flips out if he sees me talking to a guy even if the guy is with my girl friend.

I know this is a minor problem when compared with all his good qualities, but I don't know how to stop him from being so possessive. I have never done anything to warrant this type of behavior. Any suggestions? — Nameless. Louisville, Ky.

NAMELESS: Josh's behavior is not minor — it's a major problem. And there may be no way to solve it, short of giving him an ultimatum: "Back off and start trusting me or we're history!" His jealousy and possessiveness are out of control and signal deep insecurities. He may need professional counseling, and I hope he will seek it.

Don't consider marriage unless you love him without reservation (no "I think so") and he has overcome his emotional flaw with professional guidance. It might be wise to stop being his fiance and give him the freedom to get his life in order before you become a part of it.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.