DR. WALLACE: I was shocked this summer when I hung out with my best girlfriend after she returned from a long family vacation. We met to get something to eat at our local mall and do some shopping, but as soon as we went outside, she started vaping! I was beyond stunned and asked her what was going on. She told me that while they were traveling on their family vacation, she hung out with some of her older female cousins and they turned her on to vaping. She said she's enjoying it very much. In fact, she tried to get me to take a puff too, but I wouldn't do it.

My instinct was to scold her, but I realized that was not the best way to go about things. When I found out that someone had turned her on to vaping, I never would've guessed it would've been her female cousins; I thought it might've been some cute boy she met somewhere along the way. Why would a normally health-conscious friend of mine who would never even smoke a cigarette suddenly come home from a summer vacation vaping? — I Couldn't Believe My Eyes, via email

I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY EYES: Sadly, her story is not as unusual as you might first assume or imagine. I'll start with the fact that, believe it or not, more teenage girls are vaping these days than teenage boys are. Although boys tend to experiment with smoking and vaping at younger ages than girls, most of them are led into their first experience because of peer pressure. Then, they gradually decide to give it up.

But teenage girls, on the other hand, typically use vaping in an effort to calm anxieties, stress, and emotional discomfort. Hence, they try it for this reason. This also likely accounts for the reason that teenage girls continue to vape in higher numbers than teenage boys do.

Since I can tell from the tone of your letter that you would like to help your friends stop vaping, definitely use another method to try to reach her rather than scolding her. Your instincts were correct not to lash out at her at the moment you noticed what she was doing. Instead, see if you can get her to talk about some of the underlying reasons why she may be so interested in using vaping as a stress reduction mechanism in her life. Maybe there can be other ways, such as exercise, athletic activities or common interests the two of you share, such as enjoying music together, shopping for eclectic fashions at local thrift stores or any other activities that could give her mind a much healthier respite from the day-to-day stress that teenage girls typically endure.

I COULDN'T BELIEVE SHE DIDN'T HAVE THE RENT MONEY

DR. WALLACE: I'm a college student and so is my best friend. We attended the same high school and are both living on campus at the same university right now. To keep costs down, we have a third roommate, a nice girl we hadn't met previously, but who is very responsible and fits in well with the two of us.

Last month, I was shocked when my friend asked me if I could cover $200 of her portion of the rent. She did have some money, but just not enough to cover her full share. What made it particularly surprising to me was the fact that she has a really good part-time job as a restaurant server in the downtown area working at an upscale, trendy Italian cafe and she makes very good tips. I of course helped her out, but when the time was right, I asked her if she needed help with anything else because I was surprised she was tight financially given the good job she has. She explained to me that she had some issues over the past couple of years and she ran up a lot of debt on a credit card that she had signed up for. She further explained that once she got behind on those payments, she needed to open a second credit card to use an additional credit line so she could keep making the payments on the first one.

I asked her if it was ok to look at the statements or if she would prefer to keep them private. She did show them to me and I was stunned to see what an outrageous rate of interest she's paying on that debt. I didn't say anything in the moment because I didn't want to appear condescending to her, but I know in my gut she needs to get this fixed, and as quickly as possible. What do you think would be the best and most tactful way for me to make this type of suggestion to her? She's a really good friend, and has been tremendously reliable up until this request for a small loan. — Her Credit Card is Ripping Her Off, via email

HER CREDIT CARD IS RIPPING HER OFF: It may make sense to mention to her that she could speak to one of the counselors on campus at your university, as they would definitely be either willing to help directly or to make a good referral to someone who can give her some financial advice.

Another strategy would be to have her approach one of the business or finance professors and ask for a confidential meeting regarding personal finances. I trust nearly every college professor would be more than happy to help a student at their university tackle a situation such as the one your friend finds herself in.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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