DR. WALLACE: I recently broke up with my boyfriend, and even though neither one of us did anything wrong, I had reached the point where my gut feeling was that we weren't going to be together over the long haul anyhow, so I wanted to do the right thing and end the relationship so he could go on to his next relationship when the time is right for him.

He's a really good guy, and I feel bad about it, but my decision has been made. Unfortunately, over the last week and a half, he has been contacting me by telephone and text messages with desperate requests to get back together! He's trying every available thing he can think of to get me to reengage with him, from mentioning good times that we shared to how much he already knows about me and how much he cares for me.

What can I do in this situation? If he was a bad guy, or did something really out of bounds, I could break it off and move forward without thinking twice about it. But in this case, I do feel bad for him, and I don't want to make the breakup any worse than it already has been for him. — Hoping for a Clean Resolution, via email

HOPING FOR A CLEAN RESOLUTION: Start by thinking about close friends that you know of, that also know him pretty well. Go to one or more of these friends and explain the situation and ask if they would be willing to arrange a meeting with him so that the three of you could all talk briefly together.

This would provide you with a buffer, as there would be a third party present, and you would have not only a witness to the discussion, but someone who could join in and explain that you're not upset in any way and you don't want to disown him entirely as a friend, but that it's time to move on from the relationship.

The healing process he needs to go through can be variable and unknown in terms of its time and length, but at some point, he will indeed get over it and move on with his life. I see your goal is to do this in a reasonable and empathetic way. I commend you for this, but at the same time caution you not to engage with him in a lot of one-on-one telephone calls or strings of text messages at this point.

Getting together briefly in person with a trusted friend between the two of you, who knows you both, seems to be the best way that you can say your peace, demonstrate your empathy, but also get across the message that your decision is final and that at some point soon, he needs to be able to allow himself to look in new directions for future relationships.

MY BROTHER IS ADDICTED TO HIS SNOOZE BUTTON

DR. WALLACE: My brother and I are both high school students, and I'm a year and a half older than he is. He's a nice enough guy most of the time, but he has one habit that's beyond annoying. He spent the whole summer making plans to do a bunch of constructive things he wanted to do that were indeed admirable. He even talked to our parents, to me and to our younger sister about all he was going to accomplish.

However, he spent the entire summer setting his alarm at 5:45 a.m. every day, only to hit the snooze button repeatedly and he rarely dragged himself out of bed any earlier than 8! Now he's saying that he's planning to get up two hours earlier than he needs to for school since he'll have to be up anyway for school, and since he'll be in "school mode," his discipline will finally kick in! He claims that he was subconsciously thinking that it was summertime, and therefore, he couldn't force himself to stop hitting the snooze button on his alarm clock repeatedly. But now he claims he'll pop up for sure when school starts here in a week.

He already ruined my summer by waking me up with his stupid alarm clock and snooze button every day and now he's going to try to do it again. I don't think it's fair that I should have to hear the ruckus that he makes every morning when I need to get up at a reasonable hour and be ready to go to school. How can I get him to understand this? — My Brother's a Snooze Button Addict, via email

MY BROTHER'S A SNOOZE BUTTON ADDICT: Unfortunately for you, this should've been resolved during the summertime, but I'll do my best to give you some suggestions at this point. First of all, that behavior is entirely unacceptable, especially if he's waking you up with all of the noise repeatedly when you're trying to get good rest.

Speak to your parents about this matter and see if they can either get him a phone that will vibrate, or loan him one of their phones overnight so that he can set the alarm for whatever time he wants with a low enough volume tone that it won't disturb anyone else in the house.

If one of your parents gets up early to either work or to prepare to leave for work, of course that parent can wake your brother up early without disturbing you at all. Don't see this issue as something you need to solve with your brother; instead, see it as something that you need to discuss with your parents so that it can be solved collectively as a family.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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