DR. WALLACE: I recently met a new friend this summer. This girl attended our high school the last month of the school year because her family moved here from another state just before the school year ended.

I like this girl, and she gets along well with me and many of my other girlfriends. I even invited her over to our home a couple of times. We hung out and played video games and watched a few movies together at my house. My parents only said hello to her briefly and never really had any type of conversation with her at all.

Then last night, my mother came home from her card game and told me that I shouldn't be hanging around with this girl at all! She said one of her friends who plays bridge with her mentioned that this girl has a poor reputation and comes from quite an unsavory family. I don't know where any of this is coming from, since she's a sweet girl and has been nice all summer to everyone in our group of friends. I even asked everyone else about her and they all came back to me with nice things to say about her.

So now what can I tell my mom? I don't want to stop hanging out with my new friend just because my mother heard some nasty rumors playing cards somewhere. — Not Buying Their Stories, via email

NOT BUYING THEIR STORIES: Encourage your mother to make her own mind up about your friend and not to base her opinions only on neighborhood gossip. Ask to invite the girl over again, and this time be sure to have your mother speak with her at length and even sit with the two of you to watch a movie together. Two strangers can get to know each other a bit better by enjoying a movie and some snacks together, then taking time to talk about it and each other afterward. Your friend absolutely deserves this chance to meet your mother properly and to be judged by her words and actions, not by what others say about her.

Your mother should be a big enough person to give this girl a chance to interact with her directly, rather than having a closed mind and an inflexible opinion that is based on rumors and gossip. If you feel it might help, have your mother read your letter and my response to it here.

HIS RULES ARE DUMB AND OUTDATED

DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and my father won't let me date any guy who drives a bus or van of any kind! He says that guys who drive these types of vehicles have more on their mind than just reliable transportation.

I always thought that larger vehicles were safer to travel in and my dad even drives a big SUV. Isn't he being hypocritical here? He has so many crazy rules when it comes to my dating life that it's hard to keep up with them all. I can hardly wait for the next 11 months to pass so that I'll be an adult at 18 and can do what I want without all these rules hanging over my head. Don't you agree he's being overprotective here? — So Many Dumb Rules, via email

SO MANY DUMB RULES: I've heard of the rules like the one your father has before, especially several decades ago when high school and college guys frequently decked out buses and vans with stereos, shag carpeting and tinted windows.

Many fathers have several specific rules, and even though your father's rules may cause you to roll your eyes, they must be respected. Some mothers have a lot of rules as well, but most of the letters I receive complaining about rules indeed do refer to fathers that are perceived as being overly protective.

The good news for you is that you'll become an adult in about a year. The other side of that news is that unless you plan to move out on your own soon thereafter, you'll still likely be under the jurisdiction of your father's rules while you're living in his house.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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