DR. WALLACE: My fiance and I just finished our final year of college and got engaged one week after graduation! I really wasn't expecting the proposal, but I am so thrilled because I've known for a while now that I want to marry him. My only concern is that I received a dream job offer in Chicago, which is far away from Houston, our hometown. This offer came in before he proposed, so he was fully aware of it when he asked me to marry him. He's a great guy and we've been beyond close the past three years we've been dating each other. I do know in my heart that we're quite compatible, and over the years we took time to discuss our views of the future, which turned out to be quite congruent.

My fiance and I have known that I would be moving to Chicago, but I had no idea that we would be getting engaged. It sounds like my fiance is planning to move with me when he can, but he's going to be tied down to the Houston area for another year and a half or so with his job before he can come live with me full time.

I'm really worried about having to make a long-distance engagement work, but my fiance is assuring me that everything will be fine and that a year and a half will go by quickly. The plan right now is for us to have our wedding a year and a half from now in Houston so that it will be easy for our family members and most of our friends to attend, and then my fiance thinks he will finally be able to relocate after the wedding.

I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make this engagement work, but we've never done the long-distance thing before in our relationship, so it seems like a lot to navigate all at once. How can we stay connected at this pivotal point in our lives and plan a wedding even though we will physically be very far apart for a significant period of time? I worry that we may begin to drift apart since we will be living in different cities. — A touch unsure, via email

A TOUCH UNSURE: A solid, strong relationship seems to flow best from strong trust, caring and mutual respect. Everything you've mentioned in your letter supports exactly this, and in fact, your fiance proposed to you knowing that your dream job would soon take you to Chicago.

It could be that your fiance wanted to make sure the two of you were fully committed before you leave, hence the timing of his marriage proposal! As young adults, I understand that each of you wish to make your way in the workplace toward your personal goals, but I do find it unusual that both of you would prefer to work in cities so far apart for such a long time while you're engaged. Eighteen months is indeed quite a stretch!

Having said that, I do wish to give you a few suggestions. Of course, you should speak on the telephone daily, even for just a few minutes here and there, with longer calls when you both have free time, like on the weekends. You should also plan trips in advance to visit each other, even if for only a few days here and there. By planning in advance, you may be able to purchase some reasonable, discounted airline tickets by taking advantage of the maximum price reductions they offer for advanced-notice bookings. Taking the time to see each other in person, even intermittently, is essential for you both in my opinion.

It's also possible for you two to drive to see each other! Once in a while, you could take a road trip and meet in the middle of Chicago and Houston somewhere new for both of you. It's a 16-hour drive between your two cities, so if you were both to drive about eight hours each, you could connect for a few days that way, as well. I understand the price of gasoline has risen recently, but hopefully, this type of trip can still fit your budget. The two of you could feel like you're on a mini vacation and see some sights while getting an opportunity to spend time together. Arkansas, Tennessee, Missouri and Kentucky are all roughly in the "halfway window," so it might be fun to plan some sightseeing in one or all of those states during the time you plan to be apart.

And finally, there are trains as well that might be suitable for meetup locations the two of you might enjoy. Good luck with both of your careers and, of course, your future marriage.

MY SISTER HAS TWO FACES?

DR. WALLACE: My older sister still lives at home even though she's 19 and goes to a local junior college. Sometimes my mom and my sister get into arguments, but fortunately, they end up being fairly mild, and they both get over it quickly.

But the other day, my mother and sister seemed to get into a deeper and more heated argument than usual. During their harsh words back and forth, my mother called my older sister "two-faced" in a way that I know for sure was not meant in a good way. Who in the world has two faces? What does that even mean? Is mom referring to my sister's face without makeup and then with makeup? Sometimes my sister puts on a ton of makeup and goes out with her friends wearing a short skirt and high heels. I don't get it at all. — Confused younger sister, via email

CONFUSED YOUNGER SISTER: First of all, it's too bad that your mother and older sister argue so much. It would be better if they could take some time when they are both calm to speak reasonably about their differences and try to come to a suitable compromise that would better keep the peace in your family's home.

As to the phrase "two-faced," it generally is used to tell another person that they are not being honest or not keeping their word about something. It's basically also saying one thing and acting in a completely different way. Young people these days often use the phrase "gaslighting," so I'd say that these two phrases have a lot in common, and even if they don't mean precisely the same thing, I'd say they are both roughly in the same family of thought. Perhaps you can think of them as cousins, but as you noted, your mother was definitely scolding your sister and absolutely not giving her a compliment on her makeup!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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