DR WALLACE: Last year, back when we could all travel internationally, my grandmother visited Ireland and stayed at a bed-and-breakfast in Galway. She said a nice family ran the B&B and showed her great hospitality. She said their son asked her if she could hook him up with a female pen pal from California. So, Grandma told him about me.

This young man in Ireland has written to me many times, and he's even texted me a few times, too. We have been writing to each other for a year now. We exchange photos and small holiday gifts. His family has invited me to visit them after I graduate from high school. That sounds really fun, but I'm not sure when that might ever happen. I've seen movies about Ireland, and it's such a beautiful country! This Irish boy has a steady girlfriend, so we are just good friends. I enjoy receiving his letters, and he says he looks forward to receiving mine.

Right now, I'm dating a guy I've known for a while from my high school, and we have fun together, but he is the jealous type and gets angry if I even look at other guys. That's why, when I'm with him, my eyes are always on him. I don't want to create a scene. I've told my guy about my Irish buddy and that we are just friends. Well, the other day, he read a letter that he saw on my desk. It was signed "lots of love" by the Irish guy. Now my boyfriend is upset over this. I told him it was no big deal and that we've never even met in person, but it still did not go over well.

Now my guy wants me to stop communicating with him, or anyone else in Ireland, because he's afraid I might want to get together with him at some point in the future. I told him I wasn't going to stop communicating with a guy my grandma met and who was only a platonic friend. To my surprise, my guy said that if I didn't stop these communications, our relationship would be over. I really care for my American guy and don't want to lose him, but I really think his "ultimatum is ridiculous. — Just a Friend, via email

JUST A FRIEND: I see a huge red flag here. Your guy has crossed a line. He has absolutely no business telling you not to write your friend — and your letter further indicates that his jealousy is truly out of control.

As with almost all possessive people, his urge to control and dominate you is very likely to keep escalating. First, he forbade you to look at other guys. Now he is trying to dictate who you can write to. This type of situation, based on many, many letters I have received on this topic, leads me to believe his behavior will only get worse over time, and maybe much, much worse, if you allow this situation to continue. My advice is to dump your guy — the sooner the better — for both your mental and physical health.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DO FAMILY CHORES — RIGHT?

DR. WALLACE: I'm 19 and a high school graduate, and I have a decent job as a cashier at a local grocery store. I still live at home with my parents and my two younger brothers. I want to find my own apartment, but I still need to save enough money so I can move out with a friend of mine who is also trying to save up so that we can hopefully be roommates.

At this time, I pay my parents $50 a week for food and other expenses. I think this is fair, but I don't feel like I should be given household chores to do as well. If I don't do them, my mom gets upset, and then we get into an argument. I don't mind helping out whenever I have time, and I do help out here and there, but I don't like being assigned specific things to do at a specific time, especially since I have a lot of work responsibilities away from our home. What do you think about this? Is my mom asking too much? After all, she's getting $50 a week, and I get no allowance or anything like that. — Steady Jobholder, via email

STEADY JOBHOLDER: Do your assigned chores. Smile, and tell mom often that you love her! This will help your mother and you to feel better and ease the tension over the chores.

I think $50 is very reasonable, and I'm sure you will have to pay more than that whenever you do move out. Besides, you're going to find that, when you're on your own, there will be many household chores that you and your future roommate will have to split up, and the sum total is going to almost certainly be much more than you are being asked to do now.

Consider these chores Mom is requesting of you to be "spring training" for your eventual move. The habits you build under Mom's roof will definitely help you once you step into your own apartment someday.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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