DR. WALLACE: About a month ago I met a girl at a party. I didn't get a chance to talk to her too long because we were both with our dates. Through a little investigation, I learned that she worked at a beauty salon in a neighboring town.
Yesterday I drove over to where she worked and there she was, more beautiful than ever. I waited for her to finish with a customer and then I asked if she would like to go out with me. She was very polite, but she said she was going with a guy and there was no chance that she will go out with me. She didn't even know who I was until I told her I was introduced to her at a party.
My question is this: Should I continue pursuing her in hopes that she will remember me if she breaks up with her boyfriend, or should I look elsewhere for female companionship? — Interested, Scottsdale, Az.
INTERESTED: Look elsewhere. The young lady was polite and to the point.
MOM WANTS TO KNOW EVERYTHING
DR. WALLACE: I've been dating since I was 15. I am now 17. For the past two years, every time I come home from a date, my mother wants to know everything that happened: Where did we go? How much money did my date spend on me? Who else was there? Where and what did we have to eat? Did he get fresh?
I really resent this grilling and lately I've been telling her little white lies because I don't want her to know everything my date and I do.
What can I do to stop my mother from giving me the third-degree every time I come home from a date? Please, please answer my letter! - Nagged, St. Charles, LA.
NAGGED: The next time you come home from a date, beat mom to the punch by sharing a few of the evening's highlights voluntarily. That way you won't have to lie to her, but she will feel included and informed. It's natural for a mother to show concern for a teenage daughter, so keep up good communications with your mother and you both will benefit.
LYING MORE SERIOUS THAN SMOKING POT
DR. WALLACE: I'm a very "straight" young woman. I am against drugs of any kind. The guy I'm dating is a nice guy, but I know he's smoking marijuana. I know it's legal in some states these days, but I'm very much against using it in any form. I told him that I'd stop seeing him if he didn't quit. I know he cares for me very much. Other than the fact he smokes pot, he's a great guy and I could see myself spending the rest of my life with him. But I won't accept his pot smoking.
The thing that bugs me is that he denies smoking pot. He says I have no proof. But I do have proof. He left his jacket at my house and there were several marijuana cigarettes in his pockets. When I returned his jacket, I asked him about them. He said he didn't have any marijuana cigarettes in his pocket and I must have been dreaming. This insulted my intelligence.
I have also seen a roach clip in his car and, at times, he has smelled of pot so obviously that I am certain he just used it. I would estimate that I am 99% sure he is a daily user of marijuana.
To be honest, I am more upset about his lying than his smoking pot.
Your comments will be appreciated. — Unhappy, Newark, NJ.
UNHAPPY: If it has feathers, quacks like a duck, and swims like a duck, it's a duck. Tell him to waddle away!
I agree with you — his blatant lying is more serious than his smoking pot. If he can't be honest with you at this early stage of your courtship, he most certainly will lie to you repeatedly should your lives become further entwined. Cut the rope!
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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