DR. WALLACE: My parents, my siblings and I are presently engaged in a friendly debate regarding "love of job" and "money earned on the job." Please give me your view on what is more important, love of a job or amount of money earned on that job. We have an even split so far within our family so I am seeking your opinion to break the tie! — Family debater, via email
DEBATER: This is a tricky question to answer. Of course, the ultimate is an enjoyable occupation that offers ample, or at least reasonable, fair remuneration, but this isn't always possible.
In my case, I would choose "love of job" over a job I didn't enjoy, as that would reward me with something much higher than a simple salary. It's often said that individuals should work in a field they truly enjoy and the work to be done will become a joy rather than a burden. There's certainly a lot of wisdom in that universal saying. When I was a young man, I actually gave up a higher paying sales job to start coaching high school basketball at a very, very small Midwestern school which offered me a very, very small starting salary. I truly enjoyed every day at my new job, and I never looked back. I eventually went into educational administration and later became a teen advice columnist based upon my decades of working with teenagers in the classroom and on the court. My vote is to follow your heart ... and trust that a living can come from it!
IT TAKES HEAPS OF COURAGE
DR. WALLACE: I'd like to respond to the girl in Wisconsin who was debating whether she should continue going steady with her boyfriend who was leaving for a four-year military stint. All her family and friends were encouraging her to break off the relationship for "logical" reasons, and you agreed.
I can understand where you are all coming from, but life itself isn't always logical. My boyfriend is in the military overseas and has two more years left to serve on a four-year term. In the past two years, I have only seen him once and that was for a grand total of 20 minutes. He had a very short layover at an airport seven hours from my home. I drove there and back in one day.
Four years is a long time to be separated, but I look at it this way: four years is just a minor inconvenience when we plan on being together for the rest of our lives. Been separated from a loved one for 1460 days isn't easy. It takes heaps of courage, dedication and strength on both parts.
I don't just sit at home and wait. Rather, I go out with my friends (including guys occasionally) and I keep busy helping out at two local nursing homes. I really love my boyfriend and to wait for him is the only way I could possibly live my life.
To all the people in love but not married, and who will be separated for quite some time, I ask you, "Do you have courage, dedication and strength?" If you answer a strong yes, then go for it, and don't let anyone tell you differently. — Dedicated girlfriend, via email
DEDICATED: Thank you for taking the time to share your story. It will help many teens in similar situations to make intelligent (and not simply "logical") decisions. These situations deserve very personal answers for very personal reasons. It's good to see both sides and consider what it takes to make such a decision. I wish you every success with your relationship.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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