DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and have just finished receiving a good spanking from my father. I think the spanking was stupid and I'd like to hear what you think about it.

About three weeks ago, I came home an hour late and was put on restriction for a month and I have no quarrel with that.

Last night, one of the girls at my church was throwing a surprise birthday party for a mutual friend and I was invited. I asked my father if he could lift my restriction for one night and he said yes. I kissed him on the cheek and went to my bedroom to get ready for the party.

About 10 minutes later my dad came in and told me that because he was permitting me to go to the party, I had to be punished in another way — a good spanking. When I told him "no way," he refused to allow me out of the house, so I relented and took a spanking. He bent me over his knee and paddled my rump t10 times really hard with a wooden paddle.

I went to the party, but I was furious at what happened. I think my spanking was absurd and was a stupid gesture on his part. What do you think? — Nameless, Lima, Ohio.

NAMELESS: I agree! Inflicting pain was unnecessary and served no useful purpose.

Make sure your father reads my response. I hope it causes him to reconsider his cruel disciplinary philosophy.

THIS GUY IS A LOSER

DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and in love with a super guy who is 17. He is everything I want in a guy — from looks to the way he combs his hair. He is very popular in our neighborhood and lots of girls would love to be in my shoes. We have great times when we are alone together. Then he is sweet, considerate and kind.

However, when he is with his friends, he is a totally different guy. I think he's trying to show his friends that he's "in charge" of his girlfriend. With his friends, he treats me like dirt, calls me names and makes outrageous sexual remarks.

That's bad enough, but last week he slapped me twice in the face because he said I talked back to him when he told me to bring his cigarettes from his car and I told him to get them himself because I wasn't his slave. He called the following day and apologized and said that he wouldn't ever slap me again for any reason.

My first thought is to dump him, but maybe he means what he says and he won't ever make the mistake of slapping me again. What should I do? — Nameless, Huntsville, Ala.

NAMELESS: This guy is a loser. Your first thought was the right one. Dump him immediately. Most abusers apologize profusely after hitting or slapping their mate and promise they'll never do it again. They may even believe it at the time — but it's not true. They have no control over their raging temper or their desperate need to come off to their friends as tough and macho.

Looks are only skin-deep. I hope you've learned this lesson. Dump Mr. Macho and look for a guy with compassion, dignity and integrity. These traits add up to character, and they embrace the total being.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.