DR. WALLACE: Your advice to Nameless, Davenport, Iowa, was spot on. In 1976, I was a 20-year-old divorced mother of a 3-year-old daughter. I was dating a 29-year-old guy from Chicago. It was exciting. We would tour Chicago one weekend, and the Quad Cities, the next. He spent money and took me places, and I was in love.

The only problem was that even on Easter Sunday, he did not want my daughter with us at Mass. I took her anyway and he was furious. Within six months he was asking me to move to Chicago — without my daughter, or course. He told me I could leave her with my mom and dad. I told him I would not move to Chicago without my daughter. He called me a loser and broke up with me.

I went on with my life and met a truly wonderful man who in the beginning never hesitated to include my daughter on many of our dates. He knew that my daughter came first and he won her trust and love, and our whole family fell in love with him — my parents, my daughter, even my friends.

We have been married for nearly 40 years and now have five children and seven grandchildren. He loved my little girl as well as me and when I told my little girl of our engagement, I told her that we, the three of us, were getting married and she jumped for joy! He is the only dad that she has ever had and he made her life complete — with both a mommy and a daddy.

There is NO man worth abandoning your child for. If he doesn't want your child, he doesn't want you and he is trying to control you! You will be better off without him. — Jan, Silvis, Ill.

JAN: Thanks for your sincere "words of wisdom." Teens enjoy hearing from people who have "been there and done that."

DON'T CALL ME JAY

DR. WALLACE: My name is Jacob. The kids at school call me Jay even though I've told them my name is Jacob. It all started because I was new at the school. My physical education teacher called roll and when he came to me, he called out "Jay." Since then, everyone started calling me Jay. I despise that name. Sometimes when kids call me Jay, I totally ignore them.

I was thinking of getting a specially made T-shirt with the words printed loud and clear on the front and back, "Don't Call Me Jay, My Name is Jacob," but my parents said wearing such a shirt would only make things worse. I talked with our school counselor, who said the kids weren't making fun of me, Jay was just short for Jacob. Instead of helping, she only compounded my problem. Is there any hope for me or will I be Jay forever in the eyes of my fellow students? I forgot to mention that I'm in the eighth grade. — Jacob, Providence, R.I.

JACOB: First, make sure all your teachers, as well as school staff members, address you as Jacob. Next, when a student calls you Jay, simply smile and say, "Please call me Jacob," and nothing more! Don't make an outward show that you are bothered. Almost certainly, no offense was meant; the student didn't realize your name is Jacob.

Providence is a wonderful community and I'm positive that when your classmates read this column, they'll respond by calling you Jacob.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.