DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend and I are both 17 and had been dating for about nine months. When we first started dating, he was upset because I didn't spend enough time with him. He felt he wasn't playing a prominent role in my life. Since I cared for him, I made a lot of changes.

I quit my part-time job, told my good friends goodbye, and stopped visiting my grandmother — all this so we could spend more time together. And we did. We saw each other every day at school, went out every Friday and Saturday night, and studied together three school nights a week. Things were great for eight months. We discussed our future together and even how many children we were going to have (two, hopefully, a boy and a girl).

Then came the thunderbolt. Last week he said he wanted to split up because we were spending too much time together. I was totally shocked, but tried to act cool and mature. I told him we should take a break for a couple of weeks and then make a decision about our relationship. Did I do the right thing? — Nameless, Michigan City, Ind.

NAMELESS: Congratulations on keeping your cool. Perhaps this young man isn't quite as self-centered and petulant as he sounds, and a relationship with him is worth holding onto. If he is worth it, then you did the right thing, and he'll respond reasonably and perhaps even apologize for bringing on the over-closeness himself.

But there's a lesson worth extracting from all this about how far you should go to accommodate a boyfriend. Don't give up friends, family, or a job in order to satisfy this selfish demand. Continue to be yourself and live a balanced life. If he doesn't care about you the way you are, he doesn't care about you at all.

GIVE YOUR BOYFRIEND A CHOICE

DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and the guy I'm dating is 18 and I'm positive he has a drinking problem. He drinks three or four beers daily — and I mean daily! His older brother supplies the beer.

He gets mad when I tell him that I think that he's an alcoholic. He says he is too young to be one and he could stop drinking any time he wanted to. He also says he never really gets drunk — and that's true. But I think a person can be addicted to alcohol and not get totally smashed. Is this true? — Nameless, Concord, N.H.

NAMELESS: Children as young as 10 have been classified as alcoholics, according to the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. And, yes, a person can be addicted to alcohol and never get totally drunk.

Give your boyfriend a choice — alcohol or you. Don't be surprised, however, if he chooses you but continues to drink. If that's the case, tell him goodbye and wish him well, but that he can contact you again once he has successfully completed a course at Alcoholics Anonymous.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.