DR. WALLACE: I'm a 13-year-old boy and I live with my mom and my grandmother. I love my mom, but I don't love my grandmother because she is a nosy old witch, and she is making my life miserable. She is always suspicious and she thinks that I do drugs, and that my friends are gang members. But I don't hang around with gang members, and I definitely do not do drugs! I have more self-respect than to do either of these things.
She doesn't approve of anything I do and is always telling my mom that I am doing stuff that she doesn't approve of. Yesterday she accused me of chewing tobacco just because my tongue was all black. It just so happened that I had been eating my favorite licorice candy.
She didn't believe me and said she had a mind to call the police because I was not old enough to legally use tobacco products. This made me mad and I told her to go ahead and call them because I would suggest they arrest her for mentally abusing a teenager. She got really mad then, and threw her book at me and it hit me on the arm. That's when I blew up and told her I'd add physical abuse to the charges when the police came. This really got to her and she started crying and went to her room.
Grandma hasn't talked to me since and I kind of like it that way. But, to tell the truth, I'm really starting to feel sorry for her. What can I do? — Vince, Norman, Okla.
VINCE: I understand your feelings regarding grandmother, but you cannot allow yourself to be miserable because of her evaluation of your behavior. As long as your mother is satisfied that your behavior is acceptable, then you should ignore grandmother's accusations. Ask your mother to encourage grandmother to say things that are positive about you and to eliminate all the negative talk.
You can help by being kind to your grandmother and saying nice things to her. You could tell her some of the things you are doing in school or ask her about how she spent her time when she was a teenager. When you get to know and understand each other better, you will both enjoy your time together. When grandmother respects you, and you, in turn, respect her, a mutual love will be born.
NINE OUT OF TEN ANOREXICS ARE FEMALE
DR. WALLACE: I notice that most victims of the eating disorder anorexia nervosa are young females. Why are more girls anorexic, and what is the ratio of girls to boys? — Ashley, Monmouth, Ill.
ASHLEY: Therapists agree that about one out of every 200 teens from all races and socio-economic levels is anorexic (victim of self-starvation). Nine out of ten of these are female. There are many reasons why teens suffer from this eating disorder, but one of the prime ones is the fact that our society places a very high priority on being thin. Being thin is generally a female concern.
BICYCLE ACCIDENTS ARE SERIOUS
TEENS: Bicycling has become a popular activity for teens. Not only do you get from point A to point B, but it has become a superb way to enjoy exercising. It is important to remember that when you are on a bicycle, it is imperative that you wear a safety helmet and exercise extreme caution. When a cyclist collides with another object, the cyclist almost always comes out the loser.
A report by the United States Department of Transportation stated that there were more than 500,000 bicycle-related injuries that were treated in hospital emergency rooms in the United States in 2015. Sadly, over 1200 bicyclists died in collisions or falls last year. Bicycle accidents kill more young people under the age of 18 than poisons, falls, or firearms.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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