DR. WALLACE: I'm headed off to college this fall, and I've recently had a classic heart-to-heart talk with my father. It spanned nearly two hours one Saturday afternoon in our backyard, just before our family barbecue was about to start.

His basic point to me, to boil down the entire conversation, was that he advised me to "aim realistically high" so that when I eventually will have to "settle" for whatever station in life is ultimately dealt to me, it will end up being better than if I just put my head down and worked hard without planning to shoot high to begin with.

He wasn't necessarily overtly dismissing my dreams, but the tone of the discussion revolved around where I would ultimately "settle" once I realized my top dreams were not going to be achieved. I didn't argue with him and I didn't bother to explain exactly what my specific goals and dreams truly are because I didn't want the conversation to extend any further. I feared an elongation would revolve around why my goals aren't completely realistic from his perspective. To be honest, I found the entire experience to be somewhat depressing. He's been a good father and a great provider, but I certainly expected more encouragement. Do you think his perspective is actually the dose of reality I need as I head out on the next chapter of my life? — The Conversation Surprised Me, via email

THE CONVERSATION SURPRISED ME: My first reaction to this is to tell you, not necessarily. Everyone indeed sees the world and various opportunities differently, but one thing I do know firsthand by experience is that life experience absolutely evolves at various rates of speed for different individuals.

My advice here is to file that discussion away and keep it in the back of your mind for future reference if necessary. Make your primary focus on having a general sense of direction towards goals that you presently wish to pursue, but keep in mind that your upcoming future experiences will reshape your thinking over time. What may seem unrealistic today may indeed become very realistic at some point in the future, and the opposite is true as well.

Just know that a wonderful journey awaits you, so make a general plan at this point and have confidence that your experiences, evolving thinking and the knowledge you acquire along the way will guide you to new or modified sets of goals and dreams. I feel this is a better way to mentally engage in your future from this point, rather than feeling that you will succeed at anything you pursue, no matter what, or that you have to "settle" for something you presently aren't interested in.

THESE VIVID DREAMS HAVE COME OUT OF NOWHERE

DR. WALLACE: Recently, I've had a few very vivid dreams each week for the past few weeks. In the past, I have rarely remembered any of my dreams, as I would sometimes go several months without ever remembering even fragments of a dream.

When I'm having these vivid dreams, should I try to interpret them? Do vivid dreams mean I'm getting a good night's sleep and therefore dreaming more? — My Dream Patterns Have Changed, via email

MY DREAM PATTERNS HAVE CHANGED: There's not necessarily a correlation between remembering vivid dreams and considering them the direct result of a good night's sleep. Some individuals remember their dreams more vividly when their sleep is disrupted, even moderately. Typically, vivid dreams occur during rapid eye movement sleep, known as REM sleep.

There are a variety of reasons why sleep can be disrupted, so it's always helpful to keep a journal. Once you notice a change in your sleep patterns, briefly write down what occurred the night before, along with the time you went to bed and so forth.

And regarding the content of your dreams, there are many schools of thought regarding dream interpretations. Some believe unresolved personal issues are occasionally addressed during dreams. Therefore, it may also be helpful to jot down what you remember about your dreams in the same journal as well as the mechanical, environmental and situational elements that occurred the previous day and evening before your overnight sleep. Many believe the subconscious mind wrestles with various situations that end up loosely driving the subject matter of vivid dreams, at least in some manner.

If you soon enough go back to your previous pattern of not remembering your dreams at all, keeping a journal for a few weeks won't be a big deal or too much of a burden. And having this journal, both in terms of your pre-sleep experiences and the content of those dreams you do remember, could provide valuable information should you elect to pursue further study on your own or with professional assistance.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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