DR. WALLACE: My best friend just got the news he didn't want to hear last week. His girlfriend for the past eight months told him that she was breaking up with him. He's normally a guy who dresses sharp, is on top of things with a positive attitude and has a busy agenda.

But since this happened, he's definitely not sharp, not on top of things, and I can honestly say I've never seen him this sullen. I checked around with a few friends of mine, and the word I received back was that her decision is final, and she has no intention of planning to reconcile with him again down the road. I definitely want to help my friend, but I'm hesitant to do or say something that would only further fuel his malaise. Is there anything you might recommend that I could do to try to cheer him up or at least get him to snap out of it a little? — My Friend Is in the Dumps, via email

MY FRIEND IS IN THE DUMPS: You are wise to approach him carefully at this point rather than feed him some cliche lines ("There are many fish in the sea," "when one door closes, another one opens," etc.). Definitely don't directly tell him or even hint to him that he needs to "snap out of it."

Instead, visit him and do a couple of different things. At first, don't invite him out or push him to join you doing something sociable. Instead, talk to him about good times you've shared in the past with him, bring up some funny scenarios, and don't say anything at all about his girlfriend or breakup. The key here is to get him thinking about past good times that the two of you shared together.

Another idea would be to bring him one of his favorite foods, desserts or entrees from a restaurant or fast-food establishment that you know he truly enjoys. Buy one for yourself as well, and simply stop by to see him, perhaps on a Saturday late in the morning, and bring the food with you.

After you establish that phase with him, you can size up the situation and get a feel for when you think the time would be right to invite him out with you simply to get a bite to eat together. If that goes well, see if he might consider attending a local sporting event the two of you enjoy, a music show or any other outing like hiking or fishing or anything he enjoys that the two of you can do alone.

At some point, if you play it slowly and carefully but quite consistently, he's likely to warm up to you of all people. Give him time and space, and trust that your skillful interactions with your close friend will slowly make a positive impact. Then, hopefully in the near future, the two of you will likely resume spending some quality time together. Lifting a close friend's spirits is more an art than a science, so go slowly, be around semiregularly, and trust your gut. He needs the social time with you more than he realizes, and at some point he'll likely actually look forward to it.

OUR FAMILY'S HOME LIFE IS NOT NORMAL

DR. WALLACE: I'm an 18-year-old high school graduate, and I still live at home. I'll be attending a local community college this fall. My mother is a nice person, even if she doesn't say a lot, and she's aloof some of the time. But when she's not aloof, she's a normal, loving mother, and I can tell that she truly cares about me and my two younger siblings.

But my father is the bigger issue, at least from my point of view. For as long as I can remember, he has basically shown no warmth at all. For several years, I've noticed that he drinks alcohol carelessly, especially around the house. At least he doesn't drink and drive, but the negative point is that he seems to always be home and is always drinking something with alcohol in it. Not only is he not a warm person, but he rarely even speaks to me. The last thing I remember him saying to me several days ago was when he asked me if I saw the cork to his wine bottle. He wanted to put the cork back in it and put it in the refrigerator to save it for later, and he was frustrated he couldn't find the original cork. I told him I had not seen it, and he never replied or even looked at me.

I truly would like to move out of the house as soon as possible, but I already know that I likely won't be able to swing it financially at this point. Should I do everything in my power to try to raise the money I need to move out, or should I just hang in there for now? It's not like he's abusing me or anything; he mainly just ignores me. — Not the Best Home Environment, via email

NOT THE BEST HOME ENVIRONMENT: I agree that your situation definitely sounds subpar, but I will readily tell you that I've heard of many other situations that go much deeper and are much worse than what you're currently experiencing. In no way am I slighting your situation or how you feel; I'm simply pointing out that at least you have a stable place to live at this present time.

You mentioned your mother is a nice, loving person when she's not aloof, and her aloofness may be occasionally driven by your father's behavior. At least you know where her core heart is, so that's a good thing. Rather than attempting to rush out of this home immediately, start setting that as a goal on the horizon and seek to start saving some money now by working whatever jobs you can find. Start building up a savings account. Gradually your life will evolve, and hopefully you'll enjoy the college experience and find a calling that speaks to you. At some point, your savings will build up, and you'll also hopefully be gainfully employed with a reliable job. That would then allow you the confidence to perhaps find a roommate and move out from a position of strength rather than leaving quickly and putting yourself in scramble mode with little to no savings to back you up.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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