DR. WALLACE: I'll be heading into my senior year in high school in about a month and I've noticed something unusual this summer. My best girlfriend has been acting off. She's been noticeably less sociable, not just with me, but with other friends of hers I've spoken to recently.

Normally, I have a good sense of intuition and a knack for saying or doing the right thing once I can notice a few helpful signals. But in this particular case, despite my best scrutiny and delicate research, I'm not able to come up with any clues yet to guide me as to what to do or say in an effort to help her.

What do you think I should do in a situation like this? Should I stay out of her way or continue to try to solve the "Rubik's cube" of what may be going on with her right now? — My Best Friend is Acting Strangely, via email

MY BEST FRIEND IS ACTING STRANGELY: I'd say that you're off to a good start by keeping a close eye on her at this point. As you are well aware, it's a delicate balance between allowing her privacy and having legitimate concern as a close friend who cares deeply about her.

Continue to monitor the situation carefully from a slight distance. Seek to invite her out for very short outings like grabbing a coffee or having a light snack somewhere for a few minutes to see if she might accept any of those invitations. Staying in communication with her, even by text or very brief telephone calls, is also a good thing in a situation like this. And if you do interact with her, don't ask her what's wrong; just simply act normally and talk about subjects the two of you normally talk about. If she wants to confide in you about something else, she'll do so when she's ready.

Finally, by monitoring her closely, you should be able to see if she takes a downturn in any way, shape or form that would require you to intervene or to notify her family or anyone else in a position of authority to reach out and help her. But for now, I feel like you're being an excellent, yet concerned friend, so keep it up and hopefully this may resolve favorably soon.

SHOULD I ASK HIM TO GIVE ME MORE SPECIFICS?

DR. WALLACE: I'm a guy and I'm having difficulty watching my very best friend go through what appears to be a really hard time with his long-term girlfriend. We're both high school students and have known each other for six years, and we confide in each other about many things.

Lately he's been voicing his frustration to me about his girlfriend, and on several occasions, he's used the phrase "I've got one foot out the door already." It sounds to me like he wants to break up with his girlfriend, but for whatever reason he's not doing that. However, his complaints about her and how she's treating him, and in particular disrespecting him, have gone on for so long now it kind of sounds like whining.

He's always been a strong type, and I very much respect him, so it's strange for me to see him as out of sorts as he presently is. Up to this point, I haven't asked him too many specific questions about what exactly is going on, so I've just been listening to him and making comments along the lines of that I really don't like seeing him struggle this way. Do you think he's sending me signals to open up much deeper discussions about what's going on between the two of them, or am I perhaps overreaching here? Should I ask him to open up or should I just maintain the equilibrium I've demonstrated so far? — My Friend Has 'One Foot Out the Door,' via email

MY FRIEND HAS 'ONE FOOT OUT THE DOOR': It sounds to me as though he appreciates having you as a solid friend that he can comfortably and reliably vent to. If he wanted specific relationship advice, with the amount of time and energy he's using to go over and over this scenario, he would likely have asked for more specifics if that was his true intention.

Therefore, I wouldn't read anything into your fleeting thoughts that perhaps you should try to delve deeper into what's going on between the two of them. He's the one in the relationship, not you, and you mentioned it's a long-term relationship, so it's likely much better to give him the sounding board he needs, but to stay away from pressing him on specifics beyond what he's already shared.

Continue to be there for him, and don't worry for now that he seems to be repeating himself over and over. If the roles were reversed, you would very much appreciate having a loyal friend there to commiserate with, so for now just continue to play the hand you're being dealt.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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