DR. WALLACE: I'm a high school girl, and I'll admit I only have a couple of casual friends at the moment. I'm always on the lookout for new friends, particularly other girls, as I'd like to be able to hang out with friends more often. I did meet an interesting girl at a group event a couple of weeks ago, and we made plans to go shopping because we both discovered during our initial discussion that we needed some similar things.

The shopping trip went fine, and for the most part she's a really nice person, but there's one thing about her that's driving me crazy! She has this catchphrase that she seems to say all the time, and if I hear it one more time, I feel like I'm going to explode! She uses the phrase "win-win situation" three or four times every hour I'm with her. The worst part about this is that at least half the time, she's not using it properly in context anyhow.

Since I don't know her that well yet, I'm hesitant to let her know that this is both annoying and that she's not even using it properly most of the time. I was also hopeful of her developing a friendship with me, so part of me is just silently hoping she's going through a phase and will grow out of this. Should I say anything? — Her Dialogue Is Sometimes Lose-Lose, via email

HER DIALOGUE IS SOMETIMES LOSE-LOSE: I can appreciate the delicate dynamic that you find yourself in, given that you'd like to keep her as a friend if things work out beyond her dialogue faux pas.

You have several options here, including saying nothing, as you have mentioned, simply hoping she will outgrow the use of this phrase. However, that's unlikely, given how often she repeats it currently. One option would be to see if she has any other friends or acquaintances that you could tactfully mention this to. If you do say anything to someone, start by saying how much you like her, how she's becoming a nice friend of yours, and how you simply want to help her because she's not using this phrase correctly and even perhaps overusing it.

The third option is that you do this yourself, at the correct time and place. You could even ask her in advance if you could make a constructive comment to her. Start by telling her how much you've enjoyed her company and how you already feel like she's a friend of yours. Let her know that you just want to mention something about one of her usual comments but that it has no reflection on her as a person at all. Mention that you simply would like to help her, and tell her in advance that if you make any similar comments that could be improved, you want her to let you know as well.

At that point, you can cover both the context and frequency of her use of that phrase. Try to make it a lighthearted moment, even get a laugh out of it if possible, and you could start with a story about someone who made a suggestion to you that did help you in the past in a similar manner.

I NEED TO FIND A WAY NOT TO ATTEND THIS OUTING

DR. WALLACE: I'm part of a group of six close friends. There are three guys and three girls among us, and none of us are dating each other. We're simply good friends who have grown up together, originally at the same elementary school, and now we're all high school students.

A week ago, someone in the group got this idea that we should all go bowling together on the weekend a week from now. I didn't say much during the discussion, and before I knew it, everyone else had agreed to do it together. I was actually hoping and rooting for the idea to get shot down, for several reasons.

First, I have no interest in bowling whatsoever! Second, I've never bowled before in my life, and I already know that I'm going to embarrass myself by not being able to roll the ball properly, and I may not even hit a pin the whole night. I hate being embarrassed, and I see this outing as a potential disaster for me. And finally, I remember years ago one of my older brothers went bowling one time, and he complained about having a very sore arm for several weeks afterward.

So how do I avoid embarrassment, potential injury and the boredom I'm sure to experience if I get dragged into this outing? It wouldn't be good for me to not show up, even though I didn't specifically tell everyone I would attend. Should I just make some lame excuse at the last minute to get out of this? — Want to Skip the Bowling Alley, via email

WANT TO SKIP THE BOWLING ALLEY: No, I wouldn't come up with a lame excuse and cancel at the last minute — that's weak! Start by remembering that these are five of your closest friends in the world, and they'll take care of you and help you.

Let them know when you arrive there that you don't know the first thing about bowling and will definitely need help because you're likely going to embarrass yourself. Saying this up front should encourage one of your close friends, who may know a little bit about bowling, to pair up with you to give you some pointers and assistance.

Be prepared to laugh at yourself and focus on having a good time, not being a tremendous or even average bowler. And if you start to feel fatigue or like your arm is being even slightly strained, tell one of your friends that you feel a bit of pain and will keep score instead for everyone else. Look at this as a fun outing with some of your closest friends, and definitely don't push yourself too much. I trust that when the evening is over, you'll be glad you hung out with your friends rather than delivering a random, lame excuse and not attending.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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