DR. WALLACE: I'm a 17-year-old girl who is an excellent student and has been well-behaved my entire high school career.

I'm one of five girls who are all friends, and we've been planning a big party at my house in two weeks to celebrate three 17th birthdays within our group of girlfriends and their boyfriends.

My parents were great in that they allowed me to use our house and our outdoor backyard to host this party. However, I just found out that although my father will be out of town that afternoon and evening on business, my mother will be here in town and plans to stay in the house to keep an eye on my party. I feel this is ridiculous!

Nine out of the ten of us who will be attending the party are 17 years old and very mature, and the other one is 16 but will turn 17 in less than two months. We are all very responsible and mature for our ages, and within a year, most of us will be adults anyway!

Don't you feel that my mom is being a little bit overbearing here? The party is scheduled to start at noon and go until about 10 or 11 at night. I've already figured out the menu for everything we're going to eat, and my mom agreed to go shopping with me to bring the food the day before. I can also tell you there will be no alcohol or illegal substances in our family home, whether my mom is present or not. I don't need my mom to police things and constantly observe everything that's going on during the actual party. Don't you believe that teenagers should be trusted until the trust is broken? — We Don't Need a Chaperone, via email

WE DON'T NEED A CHAPERONE: You mentioned that almost all of your party attendees will be 18 years of age within a year, but the fact remains that all ten of you will be minors on the day of your party.

I feel that your parents were extremely gracious to allow you to host a long party in your family home, plus they made arrangements to purchase and supply all of the food for your party. Therefore, I feel that having your mother in the house is a small price to pay for the vast upside you've been granted here. Focus on having a good time with your friends. Your mother may well blend quietly into the background and not be much of an issue anyhow.

I DO IT BECAUSE I GET NERVOUS

DR. WALLACE: I'm a 16-year-old girl, and I'll admit to you that I've fallen into a bad habit. For years, I've never wanted to smoke cigarettes or marijuana or ever try alcohol. But now that I'm a bit older, I find that I'm getting attracted to boys my own age, but I'm very self-conscious and shy around them.

One boy, whom I find cute and nice, offered me a few sips of a beer that he brought to one of our dates. I tried a little bit just to calm my nerves, and that seemed to work. But what happened is that the presence of a beer occurred on all three of our next following dates. Each time he had me drink a little bit more, and there was a lot of kissing and groping, but we have not had sex so far.

I really am not interested in drinking alcohol to get high, but it does help me overcome being shy and self-conscious. Is having a few sips of beer on each date really that harmful, or is it ok just to help me keep my nerves under control? — I'm Always Nervous and Self-Conscious, via email

I'M ALWAYS NERVOUS AND SELF-CONSCIOUS: Not only are you making a huge mistake here, but you're also putting yourself in jeopardy of losing control, potentially having sex and facing a possible unwanted pregnancy.

Your so-called boyfriend is committing an illegal act to supply you with alcohol at your age. Your best bet would be to step away from this relationship, regroup and plan to work on your social skills. Using alcohol as a crutch for social situations is a huge recipe for a future disaster, and that future could be right around the corner.

Any time a substance is used as a mechanism to cope with a situation, the potential for abuse skyrockets. To compound this problem, you are underage and inexperienced and therefore very vulnerable.

Immediately realize the value of your life, your freedom, and your ability to be in control of your future. The first step in this direction is making up your mind not to drink alcohol, not to take any substance of any kind and not to date others who supply you with these materials.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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