DR. WALLACE: I forgot my girlfriend's birthday last week and now she won't talk to me! We've been together for three years, and each year that we've been together she would come up with plans a couple months in advance of her birthday because she's always known exactly what she wanted to do to celebrate it. In fact, she's kind of elevated these celebrations to an art form these past two years.

This year, however, she didn't mention anything or plan anything, and in fact she never even mentioned that her birthday was approaching at all!

So, the main reason I forgot to think about it was because it was never mentioned in our regular conversations and then unfortunately it totally slipped my mind. I know that I shouldn't have relied on her or her family to remind me that her birthday was coming up, but this year has been extremely busy for both of us, and so I got lost in my chaotic schedule and screwed everything up.

My girlfriend is furious and threatening to end our relationship now. She's not accepting any of my apologies, and I honestly don't blame her in a way because I'm extremely mad and upset with myself as well.

I just don't know what else I can possibly do to rectify things, and I'm wondering if there is any way to salvage our relationship after I've made such a foolish and neglectful mistake. I know I'm in the proverbial "doghouse" with her now, but I'm afraid she might have permanently dropped our relationship off "at the pound." — An Absent-Minded Boyfriend, via email

AN ABSENT-MINDED BOYFRIEND: You should quickly do something in an effort to make things up to her, but at the same time you are human, and you made a mistake. We all make mistakes, although some are larger than others.

Plan something nice for her, perhaps an outing to a place you know she'll enjoy. Get her a few gifts as you normally would and get a card as well. Inside the card, include a folded, handwritten letter of apology and include in that letter how much you love and care for her. Remind her of the reasons you both entered your relationship and tell her that although you made a mistake, this mistake was inadvertent and was not intended to upset her, even though it obviously has. Mention the outing in your letter as well.

If she still won't speak to you, then you should deliver your card and letter to one of her close friends or family members to give it to her. Time is of the essence here, so do this right away.

Your letter did not mention your age or hers, but three years together tells me that you're both mature enough at this point in your lives to work through this if each party is willing to do so. Explain to her friends (or parents) that you made an honest but foolish mistake, and your card and letter are designed to address this and communicate your contrition to her.

MY DAD LAUGHS IT OFF, BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S FUNNY

DR. WALLACE: My dad smokes and for a while during the times of COVID-19 he would go outside on the patio to smoke. I think this was because everybody was home at once and there were six people in our house every single day back then since nobody went to school or an office.

But now, everybody is back to their routines and when my dad comes home from work around 3:30 p.m. he always smokes in the house. He goes to work at 6:00 a.m., so that's why he's off early. I'm the youngest sibling so when he gets home, I'm the only person in the house these days.

I've told my dad that secondhand smoke is bad for me, but he just laughs this off and he tells me he's going to open some windows, which he does.

Can you help me convince him not to smoke in the house? — Daughter of a Smoker, via email

DAUGHTER OF A SMOKER: Yes! You are 100% correct on this issue. He should not be smoking in the family home, period. I thought it was well known by now that inhaling someone else's smoke increases the risk of breathing illnesses and even lung cancer.

Tell your father that the American Cancer Society did studies that definitively showed that nonsmoking women who were exposed to their husband's "pack a day or more" smoking habit had double the risk of lung cancer when compared to women who married men from the general nonsmoking population.

In this day and age your father should know better. It's very unfair and unwise of him to smoke in your family home at any time, especially when you are present.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: 3194556 at Pixabay