DR. WALLACE: I'm 12 and I will turn 13 this summer in early August. I'm an only child, and my mom and dad both work full time jobs outside of our family home. Yes, my parents have an "office" in our home, but it's only to do a bit of light paperwork in the evenings and on weekends when they need to. Otherwise, they both work away from home.
I've asked my parents to let me stay home alone when they go to work, but they get an older cousin or even a lady who is a family friend to come over and stay with me. I tell my parents I can be at home on my own and that I don't need a babysitter, but they always say no to my requests. Do you think when August arrives and I officially turn 13, they should just let me stay home alone on my own? Maybe we could just try it once and see what happens? After all, I'll be a teenager, and everyone knows teenagers can take care of themselves. I'm no baby! — Can Take Care of Myself, via email
CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF: To be alone for 8 to 9 hours any given day is a long time. I'm not sure if you're ready or not to be "home alone," since I haven't met you and am not aware of your family dynamic, neighborhood and the specific house, condo or apartment you live in.
Have a discussion with your parents and let them know that you feel you're ready to stay home alone. Maybe they can agree to have your cousin or family friend stay only 4 to 6 hours to give you an hour or two on your own before your parents arrive once in a while.
See if you can try out an arrangement whereby you gradually get a little time to look after yourself if your parents will agree to it. Be polite but persistent and you might gradually get a bit of time on your own to see how it goes, perhaps once a week to start. Once you've tried it a time or two, you'll know better if you feel comfortable; you might not like being home alone after all.
ENVY VS. JEALOUSLY
DR. WALLACE: How can I tell the difference between jealousy and envy? I want to someday have a boyfriend, and my sister has had a good one for about a year now. She and I were talking about this the other day, and I told her that I was "jealous" of her because she has such a nice boyfriend. But my big sister (who's wicked smart) corrected me and told me that I was "envious" of her because she has a nice boyfriend.
Now I'm really confused! Would you say that I'm jealous because she has a boyfriend or that I'm envious because she has a boyfriend? — Jealous or Envious Sister, via email
JEALOUS OR ENVIOUS SISTER: You are envious that your sister has a boyfriend! "Jealousy" is an emotion most often related to things of yours or that are in your life (this often can be a person with whom you're in a relationship, for example), whereas "envy" is an emotion related to someone else's things. Therefore, the main difference between "envy" and "jealousy" is linked to the person or thing being desired.
"Jealousy" usually refers to a situation involving three people, while "envy" usually refers to a situation involving two people.
Your sister might be jealous when other girls at school talk to her boyfriend. but she is envious of her best friend's new car.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Photo credit: Pexels at Pixabay
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