DR. WALLACE: My girlfriend and I are best friends and have been so for over 10 years now. We are both 20. She is engaged, and she and her beau are planning to get married in five months. I'm going to be her maid of honor. Last night, I was over at her house, and her fiance was there. At 9 p.m., my girlfriend's mother called and asked her daughter to pick her up at work. My girlfriend asked her fiance and me if we wanted to ride along. I said no because I had to go home, and he declined because he wanted to watch some type of event being broadcast on television or the internet.
Then, to my utter horror, after my girlfriend left, her guy started to get physically aggressive with me! He put his arm around my waist and tried to kiss me. I pulled away and asked him what was wrong with him. He told me that I was turning him on and that he had had a crush on me for over a year! I was so shocked that I said nothing and left the house immediately.
At this moment, I'm truly troubled. My girlfriend is a wonderful girl, and I love her as if she were my sister. Should I keep quiet about what happened, or should I break her heart and tell her exactly what happened? Personally, I think her guy is a loser, but I have never said anything to her about my feelings on this topic. Also, it's possible that she might not believe me, and that could cause an end to our friendship. I'm truly conflicted. What should I do concerning this quite delicate dilemma? — Still Her Loyal Best Friend, via email
STILL HER LOYAL BEST FRIEND: This unethical guy has put you in a terrible predicament. You have no choice but to tell your best girlfriend exactly what happened once she left.
It is possible that she may, as you fear, not want to hear what you have to say and could respond with anger instead of gratitude. But then again, she might be very grateful to hear the truth. Right now, her problem is only that she is engaged to a louse. It would be far worse for her to be married to one!
I'll end by saying that you should consider how you would feel if the situation were reversed. If you were the one with the wandering fiance, wouldn't you want to know? I think you know the answer to that, so let that be your guide with your girlfriend here.
Further, it might be appropriate to let her know that, although you've felt conflicted about whether or not to bring this to her attention, you decided to do so only after you realized how you would feel if you were in her shoes. This could perhaps help her to see the situation more clearly and less emotionally after the initial shock of this news passes for her.
TEENS ARE OFTEN GREEN LEADERS
DR. WALLACE: I am very interested in "going green" to help reduce global warming. Some of my friends are really into this cause, and others just shrug when I bring it up to them. It's strange. Those who are interested are really zealous, and others are oblivious or disinterested entirely.
I am told by some of my teen friends that young people under 25 are more environmentally conscious than most adults are and that teenagers and young adults do as much or more volunteer work for this cause than adults do. Is this true? — Green and Interested, via email
GREEN AND INTERESTED: When it comes to volunteering or promoting the causes, teens are often the leaders.
The reasons are numerous, but a few of the top ones include wanting to leave the planet in good shape for future generations and the fact that teens often have more discretionary time available to do volunteer work.
There are many worthy causes for young people to become involved in, and I've noticed that, during these times of COVID-19, many young people in my area are taking an active interest in recycling and helping neighborhoods to increase recycling awareness, as more products and meals are being consumed at homes these days than in the recent past.
Anytime I see teenagers involved in helping the environment or their fellow men and women, I smile with pride. Young people are often the leaders when it comes to volunteer work and taking action to support worthy causes they believe in.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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