DR. WALLACE: My girlfriend and I have been best friends for over 10 years now, and we are both 19. My fiance and I are planning a late-August wedding. He is 24, a college graduate and employed by a stock brokerage firm; I do some modeling work part time. I want my best girlfriend to be my maid of honor: It would mean a lot to me. It so happens that she is now almost 6 months pregnant (she is not married), and this means she will be quite "large" on my wedding day in late August. My fiance isn't bothered by this at all, and neither am I.
My mother has a much different view. She thinks that it will be disgraceful for such a pregnant girl to be a part of the wedding ceremony. She thinks that guests will make fun of her and it will spoil my special day by taking attention away from my future husband and me. I know what I'm planning to do at this moment, but I'd like to hear your opinion. — Bride-to-Be, via email
BRIDE-TO-BE: It's your wedding and should be planned so that you and your husband will be happy. A wedding ceremony is your way of showing the world that a marriage is taking place. It is a happy, thrilling but significant and solemn occasion, where all attention should be focused on the bride and groom. Those who would be tacky and gossip about a pregnant maid of honor would be in poor character. My advice is to carry on with the decision I feel you are already leaning toward.
Of course, invite your best friend to be your maid of honor, and I hope you have a beautiful wedding and enjoy a wonderful, long life with your husband.
And some day, if your best girlfriend eventually marries, I trust you would be proud to be her maid of honor as well. Even if she never marries, I trust the two of you young ladies will enjoy a lifelong friendship; this particular upcoming day is an important one for each of you on that front as well.
COACHING WAS MY PASSION
DR. WALLACE: My family recently moved to the greater Chicago area, and I discovered your column for teens in the local paper. I have noticed that you promote high school athletics.
Were you one of those PE teachers who coached and then became a "good-ol'-boy" administrator? I enjoy your column, except when you plug athletics. I hate PE. — Anonymous, Chicago
ANONYMOUS: I'll brief you on why I enjoy high school athletics. Athletics played a large part in my life. I ran cross-country and track at Emerson High School in Gary, Indiana, and I ran cross-country at Knox College in Galesburg, Illinois. I became an educator because I wanted to teach and coach basketball. I started my career in education teaching English and coaching varsity basketball at Hiawatha High in Kirkland, Illinois. Then I moved on to Phoenix and did the same at Phoenix Union High — English and varsity basketball coaching — and finally at La Quinta High, teaching English and coaching the varsity basketball team there in Orange County, California.
I enjoyed participating in sports and coaching, so that's why I promote high school athletics. But as a high school administrator, I never forgot that the prime responsibility as an educator was to provide the best possible academic learning environment for each and every student.
I was blessed being an educator. It permitted me to work with the greatest group of people in the world — teenagers!
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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