DR. WALLACE: My former boyfriend and I ended our relationship three months ago because we both wanted our freedom. I'm not dating anyone at the moment, but I've noticed that he is presently dating a girl with a very shady reputation in our town! My cousin has taken her out several times, and he said she has very loose morals and is considered to be a sleazy individual. My ex is a very honorable guy and has high moral standards. He doesn't smoke, use drugs or swear. He's easygoing and pretty much a straight arrow.
These two are the original odd, male-female couple, in my opinion. I consider my ex to be a friend, and even though our split was final, I don't want to see him hurt emotionally by a very insincere female. Let's just say he is quite naive and unaware that the girl he is going out with is conniving and deceitful. I think she could corrupt him in a very short time if he doesn't watch out.
Should I contact him like a good friend would and tell him that this girl is no good for him? I think I should because he really is a sweet guy who doesn't need to get involved with this loser of a chick! — The Former Girlfriend, via email
FORMER GIRLFRIEND: I get the strange feeling that you don't care much for this particular girl. Your former boyfriend is a big boy, and if it turns out that he becomes unhappy with the relationship, he will find this out on his own soon enough. Forget about whom your ex is dating and start concentrating on your own social life.
I DON'T AGREE WITH YOUR ADVICE
DR. WALLACE: I enjoy reading your column and follow it often. Your advice is usually excellent, however (you know this is coming), I was unhappy with your advice to a girl, Hannah, from Alameda, California, who wanted to graduate from her Alameda high school instead of moving to Baltimore with her parents. You advised her to go to Baltimore!
High school is a very crucial time for teens. It is important for them to feel like a part of things, especially at this stage in their development. If Hannah had been a freshman or a sophomore, I would have accepted your advice. But she is a junior. Now going to a new school, she will have to start all over, making new friends as a senior. A teen's senior year should be the most enjoyable and memorable, but Hannah will now find it hard identifying with her Baltimore graduating class. How much fun will her 10-year reunion be someday?
Since Hannah could live with an aunt, I think it would be wise for her to graduate with her friends. Will you please reconsider your answer? — Disagreeing on This One, via email
DISAGREEING: I understand your position, and you offer many good reasons as to why Hannah should not move to Baltimore. But I must stay with my original advice: She should move with her mom and dad to Baltimore and attend high school there. If Hannah had been a senior scheduled to graduate in June, I would have advised her to stay in California, graduate with her class and then return to her family.
In this case, however, she has the full summer to get adjusted to Baltimore and make new friends there. Most older teens adjust to a new school quite rapidly, and I trust Hannah will make new friends in short order. The good news for her is that she will soon have two sets of good friends — one on each coast!
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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