DR. WALLACE: On the last day of school before summer break, my best friend and I got into a nasty dispute. It was the worst one ever. We haven't spoken to each other since, even though we both have summer jobs as lifeguards at a country club swimming pool.

I really miss her company and want things to return to normal, but I still believe that she was 75% to blame for the fight. But if I try to patch things up between us, she will believe I'm admitting that I was wrong and she was a victim. Both of us are stubborn, and we might not talk to each other for the entire summer, even though we work together. We also are teammates on our school swim team.

What should I do? We have been best friends for 10 years. She is like the sister I never had. — Friendship on Hold, St. Petersburg, Florida

FRIENDSHIP ON HOLD: Forget the percentages and take the first step yourself. Tell your friend you're sorry for your part in the disagreement. Let her know that her friendship means a lot to you. It's a lot better to renew a friendship than it is to be "right" — or to hold out, waiting to be told you are right. I believe you already knew this, but you just wanted to receive confirmation that being proactive and making the first move is the right thing to do. It is!

HOW TO CONFIRM ALCOHOLISM

DR. WALLACE: Will you please tell me when a person is considered to be an alcoholic or, at the very least, is deemed to be chemically dependent upon alcohol? My boyfriend's older brother appears to me to have a real problem with alcohol; it is obvious to my friends as well, but my boyfriend says his brother is not addicted. I sort of think he is addicted to alcohol and quite likely an alcoholic. I don't want to rock the boat with my boyfriend or challenge his judgment of his brother in any way, but I am quite curious about what to look for in determining if a person is a full-blown alcoholic or not. I, of course, am concerned for both my boyfriend (hoping he does not go down that same road someday), and his brother. What are the warning signs? — Quietly Concerned, via email

QUIETLY CONCERNED: It may be difficult for you to know for sure whether or not your boyfriend's older brother is an alcoholic, but here is a list you can refer to that is commonly used to determine alcoholism in an individual:

— Experiencing temporary blackouts or short-term memory loss.

— Exhibiting signs of irritability and extreme mood swings.

— Making excuses for why they drink, such as to relax, deal with stress or feel normal.

— Choosing drinking over other responsibilities and obligations.

— Becoming isolated and distant from friends and family members.

— Drinking alone or in secrecy.

— Feeling hungover when not drinking.

— Drinking to excess in public, without concern for the safety or well-being of one's self or others.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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