DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend and I are both 18 and have been dating over year. He's a great guy and we have wonderful times together.
But a week ago, his older brother, while driving his van, got into an accident where several people were injured. The newspaper said he was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol. He was at a party and had too much to drink.
Now my parents are putting pressure on me to unload my boyfriend. They assume that since his brother drinks and drives (he's 20), so will my boyfriend. I admit that my boyfriend does have an occasional beer, but he's never consumed alcohol then driven a car. The father of these guys has allowed his two sons to drink beer in their house since they turned 15. He wanted them to drink at home so he can keep an eye on them rather than have them drink away from home.
I think my boyfriend should be judged on what he does, not for the sins of his sibling. Do you agree? —Anonymous, via email
ANONYMOUS: I do agree that the sins of the brothers should not reflect on your boyfriend's character. Every sibling should be judged independently on his or her own merits, character and actions.
However, it's the stupidity of his father that could eventually cause problems for your boyfriend. Allowing underage children to consume alcohol at home so they won't drink away from home is a very unwise practice. The problem of the brother can be directly linked to being allowed to consume alcohol at home. The father's theory was obviously a big flop.
Set a personal rule for yourself that you will never, ever ride with your boyfriend if he has been drinking alcohol, even one drop. If you ever see him consume alcohol when he's out with his car as your driver to wherever you and he are going to or coming from, refuse the ride and call your parents immediately for a lift home. Be resolute and firm with this rule.
TRADITION IS IMPORTANT
DR. WALLACE: I graduated from high school this June and have my diploma to prove it. But my family and I were denied the pleasure of going through the ceremony.
My parents were born in Ireland and I am very proud of my heritage. During the ceremony I wanted to show my pride by wearing a small Irish flag on my mortarboard hat. Our school colors are green and white and the Irish flag has larger stripes of green, white and orange. So you see I felt it really wouldn't conflict with my white coat and hat with a green tassel.
I contacted my principal to receive permission, but he surprised me by refusing my request. I then took my request to the district superintendent and again I was told not to wear the small flag or I wouldn't be permitted to go through the graduation ceremony. I decided that my Irish pride was more important than walking across the stage. I went to the ceremony, sat in the audience with my Irish parents and Irish aunts, uncles and cousins. But my Irish flag was noticed. I wore my cap and gown with the Irish flag depend on the top. Still, I feel cheated.
Since you are a former high school principal, would you have allowed me to wear the small flag on my hat? —Erin, New York, NY.
ERIN: Sorry, but I'm a firm believer that tradition is important. If you attended the school where I was an administrator, I would also have refused request, politely. If I allowed your request, then I would also have to allow similar requests to alter the graduation cap and gown in various ways and the requests would become frequent and difficult to administer in a fair manner to all students and the school itself. Traditions exist for a reason!
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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