DR. WALLACE: I'm 20 and so is my future husband. We are in love and plan to be married soon. His parents don't like me and my parents despise him. Both sets of parents said they would not attend a wedding ceremony. I have always dreamed of a big wedding, but now that is out of the question.

Would it be wrong for us to get married in our church with only a few friends in attendance, but not our parents? There might be a slight possibility one set or both sets might show up. Both sets of parents are upset because he is Polish and I am Irish. However, we both share the same religion. — Nameless, Valparaiso, Ind.

NAMELESS: Invite both sets of parents. If they refuse to come, it will be their loss. I never cease to be amazed at the ignorance and stupidity of some parents.

YOU DON'T NEED SISTER'S ASSISTANCE

DR. WALLACE: I really have a crush on a certain guy. I'm 16 and he is 17. My 18-year-old sister (she's popular, I'm not) told this guy that I liked him and asked him to call me for a date. He did, but he also let me know he was doing me a favor by taking me out. I told him I'd be glad to go out with him, but now that I've had a chance to think about it, I'm not so sure. What should I do, break the date or go out with him just to see what might develop? — Nameless, Elkhart, Ind.

NAMELESS: You don't need pity or handouts. Call this guy, thank him for the date invitation, but tell him you've decided not to go out with him. If he wonders why, offer no explanation other than that you have changed your mind.

As for your "popular" sister, kindly inform her that you are quite capable of securing your own dates, but that if you need assistance, you'll let her know.

GRANDMA GETS MAD AT ME

DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 now, but when I was 15 I was anorexic. Instead of eating properly, I went overboard and became bulimic while trying to rid myself of self-starvation. I'm 5 feet tall and with the help of a therapist and a dietitian I became a healthy 107 pounds.

Because my family could no longer afford my professional help I had to stop my therapy a couple of weeks ago. Since then I've lost 6 pounds and the little voice in my head keeps telling me not to eat and to get thin again.

My grandmother lives with us and she gets really mad at me when I don't eat and she is always yelling at me that I need to eat more. I don't think she should yell at me when I'm struggling with an eating disorder. I need your excellent and compassionate advice, please. — Nameless, San Antonio, Texas.

NAMELESS: Your grandmother is obviously not aware of the overpowering effect of anorexia nervosa so she becomes cranky when you don't eat and you continue to lose weight. Lingering effects of anorexia can lead to self-starvation that can become fatal. A visit to your family doctor will be a good place to start and will offer you immediate guidance.

It's imperative that you also discuss your situation with the school nurse, your counselor, or the principal as soon as school is in session. They will also be able to give you some guidance.

Contact me again and let me know what help you are now receiving.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Rob Bixby