DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl who will be a junior in high school next fall, and I've been asking some of my girlfriends to set me up on dates this summer. All my friends know I love a good sense of humor, so one of them told me that she had exactly the right guy for me!

Apparently, he was a friend of her family's friends, and she had come across him previously, although only briefly. So she set the date up; in fact, we went on a double date together to start things off. This guy definitely has a great sense of humor, and he's good-looking enough, but it's like he's onstage all the time! He would constantly do impersonations, goof around and joke about anything and everything.

I thought maybe he was nervous in the group setting and that he felt had to perform to show his sense of humor, so even though I wasn't impressed, I did agree to a second date with him one-on-one. The second date was nearly identical to the first one — he would talk to me, then say something that I thought at first was outrageous, and then he would mention that he was only kidding and go into some kind of story or joke. It was as if he felt he had to riff the entire time we were together.

Some of what he did and said was funny, but I felt overwhelmed by the other 75% that really wasn't funny and seemed so over the top. Now I'm doubting that it's worth dating him anymore this summer. Should I say anything to him or just tell my girlfriend that I'm bowing out? — He's Never Stops Joking, via email

HE NEVER STOPS JOKING: It could be that he's extremely nervous and this is his self-defense mechanism, as he doesn't perhaps know what else to do. I'm not advising you to stay in any dating relationship beyond what's comfortable, but perhaps if you see him again, you can tell him honestly that while you appreciate a sense of humor, his present "act" is too much for you.

Doing this provides two important things for him to realize. First, if he wants to even try to date you further, he'll need to speak to you more normally and explain himself well enough for you to give him another chance. And second, he may realize for future dating opportunities of his that trying to be "onstage" all the time definitely can appear awkward and off-putting at times to some or even most people.

If the roles were reversed, I'm sure you would appreciate somebody explaining to you honestly something that they noticed about you, which, if dialed back, may allow a dating opportunity to continue.

HE TELLS ME WE'RE GOING TO WAIT FOR SPORTS HIGHLIGHTS

DR. WALLACE: I'm dating a new guy this summer, and in some ways I like him a lot, but there is one definite big problem I've noticed. Whenever I am with him, whether it's out at a restaurant, over at a friend's house or party, or even visiting him at his place, he's always got one eye on the television, seeking to see sports highlights on ESPN! Right now the World Cup is underway, and it's like catnip to him. He always wants to check in on the scores, see a quick highlight, and his favorite line is, "Let's hold on just a minute. I need to see this really quick."

Part of what upsets me is that he doesn't ask me, he simply states this as if he's telling me what we're going to do — or, rather, what he's going to do. I see this as really selfish and disrespectful, but perhaps I'm making too much out of this. I've mentioned this to my friends, and about 80% of them agree with me, although a few have sided with him since they see it as a minor, brief transgression.

We're not officially dating exclusively yet anyhow, so maybe I can't be too possessive about his behavior and attention span. What do you advise in this type of situation? — He Lives for Sports Highlights, via email

HE LIVES FOR SPORTS HIGHLIGHTS: I can understand your frustration, and you absolutely have a point. What's interesting to me is that in today's world, every young person knows how to use their cellphone to see video clips, and every young man I've come across knows exactly how to access sports highlights whenever he feels the need to view them.

For him to simply announce to you that you're both going to stop what you were doing for a couple of minutes so that he can indulge in what he wants to do in the moment is indeed disrespectful, whether you're in an exclusive relationship or just casually dating. If this had only happened once or twice, you wouldn't have written to me about it, so therefore, since it's a chronic occurrence of his, I side with your viewpoint in this instance.

As for advice, keep your eyes and ears open as to whether or not his personality in this particular fledgling relationship is worth pursuing seriously, or even casually, further. And one thing you can do the next time he stops to watch highlights is say "OK" and simply walk somewhere else away from him and do something you want to do, whether it's looking things up on your phone, freshening up in the bathroom or taking a walk outside the establishment you're in at the moment. If he asks you later what you were doing, simply say "using my time" the way you elected to use it. This will hopefully get the message through to him that the next time he stops what you're doing to stare at ESPN the way a predatory cat stares at a vulnerable bird, you're not going to simply stand there and tap your feet.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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