DR. WALLACE: I'm a 19-year-old male college student who looks three or four years older than my biological age. I play sports, and I'm rather tall and muscular.

Recently, I asked a 21-year-old girl at my college, who is a total stranger, to go on a date with me, and her first reaction was to tell me that she would think about it and get back to me in a few days. I did disclose that I was a freshman. We agreed to meet on campus again at a specific spot to talk it over one more time before she would give me her final decision. When I went to see her to find out if she was going to accept my offer of a date with me, she told me that she would need three referrals of people who knew me, including at least one female! She told me she needed the telephone numbers of all three, how I knew them, and whether they worked or were college students and so forth.

I was so stunned by this that I just started laughing at first, but the look on her face once I laughed told me it was no laughing matter to her. So thinking quickly, I simply told her I'd have to think about it, and I'd get back to her soon with my decision. Now I have mixed feelings, because on the one hand, I'd really like to go out on a date with her, but on the other hand, I'm really upset that she wants me to do the whole character reference thing like I'm applying for a job! What do you think about the situation I'm in? — No References Means No Date, via email

NO REFERENCES MEANS NO DATE: Your situation is unique in some ways, but it follows along a logical path as well. More often than not, people who end up asking for dates with others do it with at least some background context of familiarity.

To ask a total stranger on a college campus to go out on a date without any prior pretext or conversation does indeed warrant further information, especially on her end. Now, there are many ways she could have gone about gathering this information, and she could have perhaps asked you to have lunch with her on campus one day in a safe environment, for example, but she opted not to do that and went the 'reference route' instead.

She has now put the ball in your court and is challenging you to step up and provide her information, perhaps in an effort to see how sincere your request for a date truly was. If you remain interested in dating her, my advice to you would be to accept her request, provide her with the information and of course, talk to your friends first to explain the situation. And even if you go that far, do realize that there's still no guarantee she's going to accept a date with you after she speaks to your friends — but your odds of landing that date will be markedly higher than if you do nothing.

OUR IDENTICAL NEW HAIRSTYLES DREW VERY DIFFERENT REACTIONS

DR. WALLACE: I wanted a new look for the summer, so my best friend and I went to the ladies' hair salon and got really wild curly perms! Both of us girls have naturally long and straight hair. We're having a lot of fun with it so far, and we're both 17 years old and we each have had a boyfriend for at least the past four months.

I find it really interesting that her boyfriend was stunned to see her for the first time with her new hair, just as my boyfriend was to see mine, but she simply got a laugh out of her boyfriend, and he continued acting normally around her and they carried on as usual.

But my boyfriend, on the other hand, told me my hair looked terrible and now. He's been badgering me every day, asking when I'm going to change my hair back to its normal condition! I told him I was planning to enjoy my new hairstyle for the full summer, and all he did was mumble under his breath and make a lot of sour faces back towards me. It's really crazy how our two boyfriends both reacted in very different ways. Now it's no fun to hang out with my boyfriend anymore this summer, because the first thing he always says to me is to ask me when I'm going to change my hair back.

Why would it be that the two girls both got the same new hairstyles and their boyfriends reacted so differently? — I Got the Bad Reaction, via email.

I GOT THE BAD REACTION: Indeed, you did get the subpar reaction, and the answer to your question is that everyone has a different personality style and type, and although you girls didn't do this as a specific experiment, the results read out similar to an actual scientific experiment.

One guy enjoyed a laugh at seeing the new hairstyle and then resumed his normal relationship with his normal personality prevailing as he enjoyed time with his girlfriend. But the second guy, your boyfriend, instead of just rolling with the situation and asking you a few questions about your new hairstyle, went into "control" mode and started a campaign immediately to push you to do what he wants you to do. Your hair is part of your body and it's your decision entirely as to what hairstyle you wish to wear, whether it's for the summer or even beyond.

I'm happy to hear your report that it's no longer any fun to hang out with your boyfriend because all he does is complain about your hair and ask you when you're going to change it back. My advice to you is not to think about changing your hairstyle, but to think about changing to a new boyfriend.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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