DR. WALLACE: Our family situation has gone from sad to really bad. A year and a half ago my mother was arrested for shoplifting, which stunned my father and me and everyone else who found out about it.

Since her arrest, we've come to realize that my she was abusing drugs as well, which was likely the reason she was shoplifting in the first place. She tried to tell us that she would get clean and resume her normal life, but every promise she made was quickly broken.

It was a very difficult year from there, and then about three months ago, my she just disappeared. My father did some research and got a private detective involved. Apparently, she took off across the country with a person who is likely a drug dealer and her supplier. We have since been unable to find her, and she has made no communication with any of us.

I have a 10-year-old sister, and I'm a 17-year-old girl. Since my mother has been gone, and even before she left, I've had to assume so many responsibilities in our family home that it's crazy. My father is very busy with his job, so I've had to prepare all the meals, do the shopping, take care of my little sister and so forth. I had really been hopeful to go away to college, but now I'm thinking of canceling those plans because I need to keep an eye on my younger sister, as I don't want to leave her alone as the only sibling in this current situation, especially given her age.

I've thought about sitting down with my father and asking him to see if he can get a nanny or domestic helper, perhaps a lady who could come in and help around the house and prepare meals and help my sister to supplement what I already do for her. We are already a family in crisis, so I don't want to make things worse for my father. Should I say anything? — Our Unforeseen Nightmare is Here, via email

OUR UNFORESEEN NIGHTMARE IS HERE: Yes, you should say something to your father, even though he's definitely emotionally wounded and vulnerable. He needs to fully realize the situation you are in.

And don't stop there, you should let other adults in your family know about this as soon as possible. I'm recommending that you speak to any aunts and uncles, grandparents or close family friends so that they can be aware of what's going on. Once people understand the gravity of a particular situation, it's amazing how many people will step up and help.

You're doing a great job helping your family and especially your younger sister, but you are not capable of providing her every need 24 hours a day and simultaneously taking care of yourself and a complete household. Very diplomatically and earnestly speak with as many people as you can as quickly as you can. Start with your father first, but speak to all of the others as well.

I FEEL VERY LEFT OUT AS THE YOUNGEST SIBLING

DR. WALLACE: I'm female, 19 and the youngest of five siblings. We have a close family, and my eldest sibling is now 34 years old. All four of them are married, and they have nine children between them!

I'm focusing on my career and I'm not even in a relationship at the moment. I feel absolutely overwhelmed, trying to keep up with all of my siblings and their expanding families on social media and family group texts and I always feel like an outcast. They do many group things together, and I'm always invited, but I rarely have time to show up at the things that revolve mainly around their young children.

Because of this, I now feel this makes me even more reluctant to join in, even on the occasion when I do have some free time. I would say that it's almost as if I have a mental block about this situation at this point. Should I simply not worry about it go on with my life and say nothing, or should I force myself to muster up the motivation to show up occasionally? — I Feel Very Left Out, via email

I FEEL VERY LEFT OUT: Towards the end of your letter, I felt you were coming around to the right track in terms of how to view this situation. I'm sure they all fully know and understand that you're in a different age group than they are for the most part, and that your current life is vastly different than theirs.

However, pushing yourself to show up even occasionally keeps you in circulation with everyone, especially the kids, and even though you may only make one out of five or ten or more such get-togethers, keeping involved loosely is definitely the way to go.

Someday you may find yourself in a different life situation, and you don't want to have been so out of the loop that you don't feel comfortable leaning on your siblings if and when the time comes from your perspective. I think you'll enjoy actually spending the time once you push yourself to show up, and doing so will give you a break from your current routines, which could be both refreshing for you and bonding in terms of your expanding family.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Kelly Sikkema at Unsplash