DR. WALLACE: I love being sociable and I have a lot of friends. I'll graduate high school next year and something interesting has cropped up here over this summer that I've made note of. I'll start by mentioning that I'm a really good friend to all of my friends even my casual acquaintances. Whenever I'm contacted or involved with anybody who's a friend of mine to any degree, I always give them my attention. If I'm asked for a favor or some help in any way, people know that I step up and give a good effort, usually to a successful conclusion with whatever they are dealing with.

Recently, I had two different situations come up that I could've used some help with. My two closest girlfriends were both out of town on summer trips with their families, so I reached out to the next level of friends that I have, and even a few good acquaintances that I had done favors for previously. Of the seven people I ended up contacting, only three even responded to my text at all, and those three made excuses (two were really weak) and did not get involved in helping me at all, even though my two issues were not time sensitive and could've been done on any of a variety of days.

This now has me wondering if I've been making a mistake giving so much of myself over the last three years at my high school to anyone who has asked me. The situation has taken me aback, and I suddenly feel like a doormat. Should I adjust my personality and actions during the next school year, or just carry on as usual, the way I always have? — Nobody Stepped Up for Me, via email

NOBODY STEPPED UP FOR ME: I'll start by saying I don't think you can flip a switch and change your personality overnight, but you absolutely can adjust your actions.

I assume your two close friends would've happily helped you had they been around, but beyond them, you need to guard your time more judiciously this next school year. Your plans for college, or entering the workforce or starting some new endeavor will be on your mind as well as achieving your senior year academic goals. This is a great life lesson for you to learn. Maintain your helpful personality, give people words of encouragement where and when you can, but don't drop everything to jump in and help others at this stage of what is soon to be your increasingly busy life. Help when you truly feel you should, but don't push yourself to drop everything every time you're asked.

HER TONE AND DEMEANOR CHANGES UNPLEASANTLY

DR. WALLACE: I'm a guy who is a sophomore in college and I didn't really date much last year. I spent a lot of my time studying, getting adjusted to college life and getting oriented to living in a college dormitory on my own.

Six weeks ago, I met an interesting girl my age, and we started dating regularly. I've enjoyed the college dating experience more than high school because this feels much more like real life to me than just passing the time waiting to graduate. For the most part, we've gotten along great, we've had some good laughs and good times together, but recently, I've noticed something that's starting to bother me increasingly.

Almost all of the time, she speaks to me in a very nice tone, and we have respectful and even enjoyable conversations with camaraderie. However, I'm learning there are a few subjects she doesn't like discussing or being questioned about. When this happens, it's amazing how her tone of voice will shift and become much edgier and harder. She kind of takes on an authority position and starts talking down to me like I don't understand what's going on or how normal life operates from her viewpoint.

I'm truly not looking to get into a relationship where one partner dominates the other, and although I would never speak to her this way, I've had to absorb three very unpleasant conversations within the last 10 days that left me shaking my head when I got back home on my own. How can I best deal with this? Should I seek to find a way to prevent these outbursts from happening in the future, or is this an indicator that I should likely move on at this point? — She Becomes Dominant and Condescending, via email

SHE BECOMES DOMINANT AND CONDESCENDING: You have "only" six weeks invested in this relationship, so if you think this is indeed a dealbreaker. This would be the time to have an open conversation with her from the position of you having not much to lose if the conversation about her tone of voice and attitude ends up going south once you mention how much this impacts you.

There is a small chance she may catch herself and apologize to you sincerely, which is one of the reasons to confront this situation directly. More likely, she won't do this, which will confirm your concerns and provide you with valuable experience in dealing with something unpleasant head-on. Either way, you come out better than you went in.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Lucut Razvan at Unsplash