DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl who's going to be a senior in high school this coming fall, but I'll admit to you that I've only been out on two dates since I've been in high school. I'm kind of shy and definitely been more of a wallflower up through this point rather than someone actively engaged in the dating scene.

Recently I met a guy my age who is the younger brother of one of my brother's male friends. There was a situation where we were all together at my family's house for an hour, and this guy ended up talking to me for like 20 minutes straight. Before he left with his brother, he asked me out on a date, and I was so surprised that I just mumbled, "OK."

So now I've been out on three dates with him, but I find him to be a really odd guy. He wants everybody to call him by his preferred nickname, which is "Space Cowboy," and he's always talking about coming down on other people, and he uses the peculiar phrase "meteor shower" a lot. Apparently there's some guy he doesn't like at school, and he's always saying, "When I see him next, I'm going to rain a meteor shower down on him!"

I guess he's an OK guy in some respects, but his personality is so odd that I can't get used to it, and I'll admit to feeling very uncomfortable around him, whether we're alone together or out in a group with other people. When others are around, I always cringe when I hear him say weird stuff out loud in front of everyone. I even see other people making faces and looking at each other behind his back.

Should I say anything to him about his quirky nature, or should I just quietly move along and chalk this up to experience? I already know I'm ready to move on even if it may be a while until I get asked out on a date again. — This Space Cowboy Is Too Far Out There, via email

THIS SPACE COWBOYS IS TOO FAR OUT THERE: I suggest you just quietly chalk it up to experience, especially because you're in a bit of a delicate situation. This is the younger brother of one of your brother's good friends, so it's probably best not to say anything that may make this young guy feel any more odd or strange than he already likely does in his present state.

You should mention to your brother that you appreciate him asking you out a few times but that you just don't feel a direct connection and don't want to lead him on unnecessarily. Tell your brother he's a nice guy and he treated you well, and leave it at that. This will allow your brother and his friend to diplomatically break the news to this younger brother, which should extract you from the situation smoothly.

I SHUT DOWN WHEN SOMETHING UNEXPECTED COMES UP

DR. WALLACE: I'm going to be a junior in high school next fall, and I'm a decent student, but I have to admit that I do have one flaw that my parents have noticed all too much. Whenever things don't go my way, or when something unexpected rises up, I tend to freeze, do nothing and usually have to suffer the consequences.

I guess you could say I don't like obstacles in my path. My father tells me I'm not resilient enough, but he never gives me any examples of what he expects me to do. How can I better deal with unexpected problems and setbacks that seem to crop up every now and then in my life? Some are fairly small and definitely inconvenient, while others sometimes bother me a lot. — I Need to Work on My Resilience, via email

I NEED TO WORK ON MY RESILIENCE: By now I trust you've reviewed the dictionary definition of resilience, which is basically the physical and psychological capacity to adapt and recover from the obstacles you mentioned. Typical obstacles include unplanned-for changes, adversity, stress, trauma or the breaking of a routine with no backup plan.

You mentioned that you're a good student, so instead of taking the "woe is me" approach the next time you find an obstacle along the path in your life, look at it instead as a problem to be solved as you would in school regarding a homework assignment. Start by telling yourself you can handle it and make good decisions on your own.

From there, evaluate the obstacle and immediately start thinking about alternative plans or ideas you can utilize to combat or overcome the challenge in front of you. Also feel free to involve other people since there are no rules involved. Feel free to ask family, friends, acquaintances, teachers or anyone else who may be able to help you if the situation in front of you warrants speaking to another person. If it's something you need to deal with on your own, start by thinking how good it's going to feel when you actually engage the situation rather than just letting yourself shut down. Be creative, stay positive and do your best even if you don't have a perfect secondary plan. The more you attack and engage with problems and obstacles in life, the better you'll get at handling them. This rise in your resilience will both empower you and simultaneously raise your self-esteem.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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