DR. WALLACE: I have been dating my 18-year-old boyfriend for the past six months and really like him a lot except for one issue.

He seems to be controlled by his mother, which makes him kind of the 21st-century "momma's boy!" Anytime she calls or text him, he jumps to action no matter what it is and how ridiculous her requests might be.

If she had a true emergency or even a pressing, time-sensitive matter, I wouldn't care so much. But when he changes our plans constantly to appease his mother or do something for her, I inevitably find out that it's something that easily could've waited or was ridiculous to request in the first place. How can I change him into acting like a normal 18-year-old guy? I don't know how long I can put up with this even though I do like him. — His Girl (For Now), via email

HIS GIRL (FOR NOW): You need to slowly but surely add consequences to him running off toward his mother for very weak reasons. Of course, if his mom had a true emergency, he should help her immediately. But to allow himself to be manipulated for whatever reason does show a lack of respect for you and your relationship.

When it comes to applying consequences, for example, once he runs off, do not allow him to come back and resume your date where you left off. Instead, impose a postponement to another time and explain to him that when you have time carved out for each other that you'd like to spend it together uninterrupted, unless there is a true emergency or indeed a very important time-sensitive matter comes up. But in any case, running off to address her wishes should be the exception rather than the rule.

Just hoping he will grow out of this behavior on his own would be a waste of your time. To change his behavior, you must put him in the position of making a choice that carries consequences.

Now it's up to you to make your move to put him in "decision mode" or simply accept him as he is and let him hop away regularly to help momma like the nice but weak baby frog he currently is.

STOP SEEING HIM SOCIALLY IMMEDIATELY!

DR. WALLACE: I have been dating a guy on and off for nearly three years now. We started dating in high school and continue dating in college since we both attend the same university.

When we are together, we generally have a wonderful and fun time. He's usually a gentleman and has a really good and offbeat sense of humor.

But there are times when he gets angry, and when I say angry, I mean scary angry! He can turn violent in a heartbeat and anything can trigger him, such as traffic or any other guy who even glances at me when we are out together.

In one of his road-rage incidents, he actually got out of his car at a stoplight and pulled another driver out of his car and beat him so severely in the face that I could see blood on my boyfriend's hands when he came back into our car. He did this because he felt the other car cut into our lane too close to his car before the red light. The other driver just pulled off the road to the right when the light changed, and we just drove off fast through the intersection.

His outbursts worry me. Do you think I should move on from this relationship, or is it possible he's just going through a phase in his life? — Becoming More and More Concerned

BECOMING MORE AND MORE CONCERNED: The relationship you've outlined is unhealthy, and you are in danger of his rage spinning even further out of control at some point in the future.

Anyone who exits his car and beats another driver over being cut off in traffic has anger management issues. And as a college student, he should be old enough to be able to control himself by now. I don't think this is a phase; it's instead a chronic problem he needs to deal with immediately.

I recommend that you quit seeing this guy and suggest to him that he needs to deal with his anger management issues immediately. Tell him that you'll support him if he addresses his issues, but do not promise to restart the relationship since you can't possibly know in advance where he will be in terms of his control over his life in the future. And if you do support him in person sometime, always bring a family member or a trusted friend or adult with you to see how his progress is coming along.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: LinkedIn Sales Solutions at Unsplash