DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl who recently turned 19 and I still live at home with my parents. I just found a decent job, and I have a good friend who is also looking to move out of her parents' house.

I'm excited about this and the big step about moving out on my own, but I don't know how to cook. My mom won't teach me because she always says she is too busy to stop everything to have me learn from the beginning. It's true, my mom is busy because she has a career, but I'm now also thinking that she may be holding back on me because she's not too happy to see me move out. I do have a younger sibling — a brother, who is almost 16.

I'm afraid that if and when I finally move out (after the summer, perhaps Oct. 1), I'll be in trouble when it comes to eating healthy meals instead of just eating fast food or junk food all the time. What can I do over this summer to get ready to be responsible for my own meals? — Not a chef yet, via email

NOT A CHEF YET: Since you did not mention that your girlfriend is a good cook, I'll assume her skill set in this department likely mirrors yours. I recommend that you two girls work together over the summer on this project.

Speak to every lady and man you know of who is a good cook or even is quite proficient at using a backyard grill. Most people are happy to help young people like the two of you to learn a new skill. Offer to help out in the kitchen and even pay for your own meals whenever you can find opportunities to cook together with others who have vastly more experience than you do.

Also, don't forget that starting with healthy food is equally as important as being an excellent chef when it comes to putting together a healthy dietary schedule for your meals at home. Involve your girlfriend every step of the way, as she may know some excellent "culinary mentors" that can assist you girls along your quest to expand your skill sets in the kitchen.

And finally, don't give up just yet on your own mother! See if you can invite your girlfriend to eat dinner at your home a few times over the summer and have her come early those evenings and offer to assist your mother with preparing the food, setting the table and getting the drinks ready with a lot of ice to offset the summer heat. Most parents deliver their "A" game when guests are in their home, so inviting your girlfriend may unleash your mother's willingness to provide a few pointers. Of course, you should join in, too, but be sure to give mom some space and let her lead the way in her kitchen.

MY MOM IS SUPER STRICT!

DR. WALLACE: My mom says she was spoiled when she was a child, so she did not want to spoil me and is very strict. I'm a teen girl, and most of my girlfriends have parents that allow them much greater flexibility, particularly when it comes to their social lives and social activities.

How can I get my mother to understand that it is now 2022, not 1982? She's a wonderful mother in nearly every regard, but her old-school nature of being strict with her children doesn't seem too well-suited for today's modern world. — Feeling smothered by rules, via email

FEELING SMOTHERED BY RULES: Believe it or not, you are not alone. I receive many letters each year about this very same topic. In about 70% of the letters, the father is extremely strict and 30% the mother, especially when a daughter is involved.

I feel the key here is for you to be respectful of her rules but go out of your way to show her that you are responsible and capable of acting appropriately when given a little more leeway.

Be sure to bring a few of your friends over so your mother can get to know them and feel more comfortable around them. Usually, a very strict parent is worried about the character of the children that their offspring socialize with. Helping your mother to become more familiar and comfortable with your friends may be a good starting point for the ultimate expansion of your social time. It would likely be helpful to arrange a few social events on a weekend at your home or in your own backyard so that your mother can see all of you interact together. Be sure to have all of the girls come early, be on their best behavior and be helpful to your mother in setting up a small backyard summer barbecue or other similar event.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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