DR. WALLACE: I'm a good student and the oldest child in our family. There are three kids in our family who are all now teenagers, but I'm the oldest at 17. This normally would be a good thing, as older teens typically get more freedom and more opportunities to hang out and socialize with their friends.

But in my family things don't work out this way. My parents have a spectacular work ethic and in fact, I think they are both workaholics! They both used to work in management in the retail grocery industry and they were each quite successful in their individual jobs. But a few years ago, they both decided to quit their jobs and open a small chain of local specialty food stores. Now they both seem to work 12 to 14 hours a day, six days a week. They have one store in our local town and another two more that are each about a half-hour's drive away in different nearby towns.

Since I'm the oldest, they make me work at the store in town after school three days a week, plus I have to work every Saturday morning until early afternoon. This really cuts into my social time with my friends!

They do give me a fair allowance, but I'd be happy with less money and more free time. How can I get them to understand that I need more time for myself? — I Work Too Much, via email

I WORK TOO MUCH: I agree with you in this situation. You should be allowed to work at your family's store as much or as little as you want. If your parents need more help, they should hire an employee to fill the hours and responsibilities they need covered. Since they have three stores, they obviously have other employees running those operations for them.

Do let your parents know that you wrote to me about this. Show them your letter and my reply here. I feel that you should do your fair share of chores in your family home to earn your allowance. Then if you elect to work a bit at their family stores, that's fine as long as your grades don't suffer.

And when it comes to working and your social schedule, perhaps you might strike a compromise. If you do wish to help at the stores a bit, but not as much as you currently are, perhaps you could work out something that everyone is comfortable with. But my bottom line is that a teen working at a retail store should be entirely voluntary, not mandatory. Hopefully your family can find common ground and a workable compromise.

I THOUGHT SHE'D BE HAPPY I QUIT SMOKING

DR. WALLACE: I'm 22 and my wife is 19 and we are new parents. We have a three-month-old daughter who is the love of our lives. I do a lot of construction and outdoor work and I'm paid well for it.

I'm the youngest guy on my work crew and I used to smoke cigarettes. Many of my co-workers don't smoke, but many of them use "chew," which is shredded tobacco they pinch between their cheeks and gums. They like this since they don't have to wait for a smoke break, and since we work outside, they can find a place to spit every 15 minutes or so. I thought this was really gross, but one of the older supervisors gave me some and told me I might want to try it instead of "breathing smoke into my lungs" as he put it.

I did try it and within a week I stopped smoking cigarettes! My wife has been telling me for over a year to stop smoking so our daughter won't breathe in my smoke. Since our little girl was born, I always smoked all my cigarettes outside of our home. I never once took a single puff inside our home with our daughter present.

So, imagine my shock when I told my wife I'd found a way to quit smoking, and she was still upset with me! She actually told me that using "snuff," as she calls it, is likely worse than smoking cigarettes!

Is she right? Could this possibly be true? — Trying to Do the Right Thing, via email

TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING: Yes, she is! Smokeless tobacco used in the mouth in the manner you describe it is extremely dangerous to your health. Users of these products can absorb up to 250 times more cancer-causing agents according to statistics I've read from the U.S. Surgeon General's office.

There is another major difference between tobacco that's smoked versus tobacco that is held and absorbed for hours at a time in the human mouth. Instead of the lungs being damaged, the cancers that grow usually are in the gums and often on the tongue and in the throat of the users.

Your wife is entirely correct on this issue. I know it will be hard, but perhaps you can turn your current situation into a positive one. You've already quit cigarette smoking; so, continue to stay away from cigarettes. You're now used to having a "chaw" in your mouth, but it's highly dangerous.

I now have a temporary suggestion that might help you, and the idea likely originated with major and minor league baseball players. Many of these athletes previously used smokeless tobacco, but due to the health risks involved, they replaced it with a bundle of raw sunflower seeds encased with a layer of bubble gum! This means the seeds in the middle and gum around it. They then tuck this inside their gum and cheek to create a "chaw" effect but with safer ingredients. You might try this. It's not a perfect long-term solution as a lot of sugar and salt are involved, but for a short-term transitional period, you'd be way better off if you can manage to wean yourself off of tobacco forever. If you do, your wife and your daughter will both thank you.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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