DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl who is 17 and a dedicated student. I will graduate from high school in June 2022 if all goes well, and hopefully, COVID-19 will have finally subsided so I can return to a classroom. I've done reasonably well via remote learning this past year, but I'll admit I did even better when I had the opportunity to learn in person in a classroom. I'm the type of student who likes to sit in the front row so I can absorb as much as possible on each subject. I'm a very good student who has achieved excellent grades.
I plan to go to college after high school. My history teacher has been talking to me about colleges, and she wants me to consider Howard University in Washington, D.C. But since Howard is located so far east and my parents and I live in the northwestern part of our country, I'm not sure where I should go to school. Please give me your opinion including the pros and cons of attending a university so far from home. — Future College Student, via email
FUTURE COLLEGE STUDENT: You are a very fortunate young lady to have a teacher introduce you to the idea of attending Howard. This fine university was founded in 1867. Howard has a co-ed enrollment of about 1,100 gifted students and is regarded as one of the most prestigious institutions of higher learning in the United States.
The most popular fields of study at Howard are liberal arts, engineering, pre-medicine and education. It is very easy to give you my honest opinion. If you are fortunate enough to gain admissions there, strive to become a proud Howard graduate, one who is ready to make the world a better place. You can't go wrong.
As for the distance away from home, I understand and appreciate that this is a factor for many young people. The good news is there is a thriving community of great people at each university across America, and the key is to blend into and engage in the community of the college. Recommend that your parents visit the campus with you, and if you attend a college out of state, make contact with a counselor who can help you transition into the local community.
I TELL WHITE LIES TO MY FRIENDS AND GUYS
DR. WALLACE: I'm a female college student who is an overly sensitive person, and because of this I have a hard time telling guys I don't want to go out with them, and even telling friends I don't want to go out to a club with them because I need to study. I usually tell a while lie about having to attend some activity with my parents or something related to that.
There are also times when I go out with a group of my friends to hang out for an evening but, when I get home, feel I've wasted valuable study time. I go out sometimes during the week because I don't want to disappoint my friends. I've even gone on a few pretty stale and useless dates just because I didn't want to tell a guy no after he summoned the courage to ask me out.
I'm a pretty popular girl, and I have a pretty busy social life. There's just not enough time for me to do all of my studying and attend so many social events. Do you have any suggestions that could help me balance this out? — Don't Want to Disappoint Friends, via email
DON'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT FRIENDS: It's much better to say, "Thanks for asking, but I'm much too busy with my studies tonight." This way, your friends or a new guy will understand it's not that you don't wish to spend some time with them but that you have a higher priority to attend to.
Everyone understands that when it comes to education, hard work and dedication to study time is needed.
I suggest you cut out the white lies and lying in general and simply state the truth. You can also ask your good friends or even guys you're interested in to share a half-hour with you at lunchtime, for example. Do what you can to socialize during your breaks at school, especially since you're all on campus already. This will keep you in circulation with friends during the week but should allow you to comfortably carve out time for your studies. Try to limit your group outings and dates to weekends. This may enable you to achieve the balance you seek while maintaining your personal integrity as well. Remember your words mean a lot, so do your best to be both truthful and diplomatic.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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