DR. WALLACE: The girl I've been seeing for the past four months treats me horribly. We are both 17 and will both be 18 in August. She fights with me, calls me names and treats me like dirt. There are times when she gets pretty romantic with me, and when that happens, she's great!
But then the very next day, she'll flirt with almost every guy she sees, no matter how well I thought things were going between us!
I have tried to break up with her a few times, but she cries and tells me that she loves me and promises to treat me better. But right after our deep talks, the cycle just repeats again! I don't get it. Is there something else that I should do to keep our relationship on track? — Unhappy Guy, via email
UNHAPPY GUY: In this case, her actions most definitely speak louder than her words. And to boot, her actions repeat in a continuous cycle, so this diminishes and erodes her words even further.
You would likely be much happier by ending this relationship once and for all and finding yourself a girl whose company you enjoy.
Professions of love are meaningless if they aren't accompanied by loving behavior. You are sadly experiencing this at a young age, but it's a lesson that you should only have to learn once in your life, so you're now in the position to protect yourself from this in the future — starting now.
No one should accept abusive or disrespectful behavior from any boyfriend or girlfriend out of fear that this is what they deserve or because they fear they will never find anyone better.
Standing up for yourself and demanding proper respect automatically make you a more attractive person.
STAY CLOSE TO MOM WHEN VISITING DIRTY GRANDPA
DR. WALLACE: My grandfather is a dirty-minded buzzard. I hate visiting my grandparents. When we're alone, he tells me dirty jokes and asks me to tell him about my sex life. I keep telling him to knock it off, but he won't stop asking me inappropriate questions.
My grandmother is now in a wheelchair, so my family visits their house more than we did previously. I don't want to tell my mother that her father is verbally harassing me.
Your advice would be appreciated because I don't know what I can possibly say to get him to cool his jets. — Stuck in a Delicate Situation, via email
DELICATE SITUATION: There is only one solution to your problem: Be sure to never be alone with your grandfather. He has lost his self-governing capacity in your presence and is not to be trusted at this point of your life. When you visit your grandparents, stay close to your mother. Grandpa wouldn't dare open his dirty mouth in front of his daughter while she is close enough to hear his inappropriate rants.
I understand why you want to keep this to yourself and spare everyone else the shocking embarrassment of knowing the truth about your grandfather. If holding onto the secret becomes such a burden that it gives you emotional stress or, worse, puts you at risk, then you must tell Mom the truth immediately.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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