DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and in love with the guy who is 23, and he is in love with me. I'm a very mature 16-year-old and an intelligent young lady. I plan to stay in school and graduate from my high school before we plan to get married. I also told my guy that the earliest age I would ever marry him would be a few months after I turn 18 so I can be an adult and make my own good decisions with my mind more developed and experienced than it is now.

He is a college graduate and has a really, really good job that he enjoys and that pays him quite well. We are not sexually active and see each other without anyone knowing and only during the daytime. No, he is not a teacher, and he is not married. My parents are not aware of his existence. We are in a secret relationship, on the down low. He's told me we can get married and buy a house together as soon as I'm ready to do so. I've told him many times that I won't ever marry until I'm at least 18.

My question is, should I be true to the guy I love, or should I date other guys my own age until I graduate? I dream of marrying this guy someday, but I'll also admit that I'm attracted to a few cute boys at my school who have recently asked me out. — Planning Ahead, via email

PLANNING AHEAD: First of all, I commend you for not becoming sexually active with a man so much older than you are now. That would be a recipe for trouble at your young age.

Second, I'm troubled that you are seeing someone so much older than you are and also that you are doing this in secret. I do not support this behavior for many reasons, especially the large age difference between the two of you. Therefore, I do advise you to date some of the young men closer to your age who you are interested in at your school. Stop seeing this older man immediately, and concentrate on your schoolwork and your friends in high school for the next two years.

DO GIRLS ALSO DRINK REGULARLY?

DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl of 17 and have noticed that many of my fellow students are involved in underage drinking of alcohol — several on a weekly basis. There are many secret parties where alcohol is present and consumed freely. What really surprised me was seeing many of my girlfriends and fellow female students drinking. I thought drinking alcohol in high school was mainly a guy thing, and only by a few "rowdy" guys. But from what I've seen lately, it's mainstream at our school. Is this typical? — Stunned by So Much Drinking, via email

STUNNED BY SO MUCH DRINKING: Sadly, your experience is more typical than you first thought. Once upon a time, when society talked about the problems of teen drinking, the discussion was almost exclusively focused on boys. However, this is not the case anymore. Today, youthful drinkers are just as likely to be female, a worrisome trend for more than one reason.

According to many recent studies that have come to my attention, nearly half of teenage drinkers these days are girls. It appears they want to be "one of the boys" in situations where there is peer pressure to act cool and be part of the "scene."

The trouble is girls can't usually be one of the boys when it comes to alcohol consumption. This substance is simply more harmful to their bodies. Females typically metabolize it more slowly than males because they usually have smaller body frames. This causes them to become intoxicated more quickly. Females also can be just as susceptible to alcohol dependency (alcoholism) as males are.

So, from a public health standpoint, it is bad news that girls are starting to drink at younger and younger ages. My advice for all teens is to remember they have the powers of choice and deductive reasoning. The time to think logically about the reasons not to drink is well before being put in a situation that could cause peer pressure to reign supreme. There is great power in being able and willing to be responsible for one's own actions. This applies to all teens and is especially important for teen girls.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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