I read your column all the time and have noticed letters from teens who are harassed and teased because they are overweight. I can't help but remember the case of a 14-year-old girl who was overweight and was called names by her own family. In fact, her father frequently called her 'blimp' and her brother referred to her as a whale.
I have the opposite problem. I am 13 and have a very slender build. I do not have an eating disorder. I have a healthy appetite. It so happens that I also have a very high metabolism rate. Because I am slender, I'm often the butt of someone's joke. I've been called Olive Oil (Popeye's girlfriend), as well as slim, boney, skinny and beanpole.
My mother says I should ignore these rude comments, but I find it difficult to do. Probably the most irritating thing is to be called 'skinny.' Slender people dislike that tag the same way heavy people dislike 'fatty.' I hope you print my letter. The very slender people of the world will be grateful. When people are harassing me or making fun of me, I promised my mother I would do my best to ignore them. But what do I say to those who call me 'skinny' but don't realize it upsets me? — Anonymous, via email
ANONYMOUS: Simply say that instead of being referred to as 'skinny' you would prefer the term 'slender.' Most people will respect your request. Of course, it's difficult to be subjected to verbal harassment by ignorant people, but your mother is 100 percent correct. When you ignore these insensitive louts, they'll eventually turn their attention elsewhere.
I'M IN A "DO WHAT'S RIGHT" FAMILY
DR. WALLACE: I'm part of a very formal and "do what is right" family. My father teaches at a local University and my mother is a high school drama teacher. When I was five, my mother taught me where to put the silverware when setting the table. When I was six, I knew elbows were not allowed on the dinner table — ever!
When I was seven, my mother corrected my grammatical mistakes and made me say each sentence correctly. When I was eight, I knew to wear a coordinated outfit to church. When I was nine, I knew how to bow to the audience after finishing my piano recital. When I was 10, I had been taught to write thank you notes to those who gave me gifts. I think now you understand my family background.
I am now 16 and have a steady boyfriend. Last week was my "sweet 16th" birthday. My boyfriend gave me a sterling silver bracelet that had belonged to his mother, who died several years ago. He lives with his father and older sister. I asked him if he was sure he wanted to give me his mother's bracelet and he said "definitely." I then talked to both his sister and his father and they both said they were happy for me to have the bracelet. Her father gave it to his wife on their fifth wedding anniversary.
My mother isn't thrilled that I was giving a family heirloom that, as she says, "belongs in that family." Mom and I decided to allow you to give your opinion and we will abide by your ruling. — DO-RIGHT DAUGHTER, via email
DAUGHTER: You appear to be a refined and wonderful young lady. I think I can understand why your boyfriend would give you such a gift. I agree that you should keep the bracelet as "definitely" means "definitely!" I wish you two well and that you both share a long and wonderful future together. But if you two should ever break up, then and only then should you return the bracelet to him. It would definitely be the right thing to do — if it ever came to that. Perhaps it won't!
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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