DR. WALLACE: Please answer my letter in your column. Your answer will be extremely important for me. Both my boyfriend and I are 19. We met at a mutual friend's Christmas party and have been together ever since. There is no doubt that we love each other very much and at sometime in the near future will get married — to each other.
Our concern is that our parents and some close friends are telling us that a "mixed religion" marriage is doomed. Jacob has talked with his priest and I to my Baptist minister and both clergymen were not in favor of us marrying.
However, both of us are convinced that we were destined to meet and to fall in love. We have discussed religion together in depth we each wish to remain faithful to our present religions. Neither of us will change. I do not see this as a major problem. Do you? Your thoughts on our "mixed religion" marriage will be appreciated. — "Faithful in Love", via mail
FAITHFUL: A "mixed religion" marriage can be successful if the partners understand that a slight extra burden is added and should be addressed in advance. Before the marriage such things as "Would the children be raised in the Catholic or the Protestant faith?" Or "Should the children attend public or parochial school?" must be discussed, settled and agreed on upon both parties after an open and honest discussion.
I would also suggest that you both talk with couples you may know who have different religious backgrounds, and have successful marriages.
But, at the end of the day, true love is often so dominant that it overcomes all situations. I trust you two can work it out with mutual compromises and lots of love.
MOM GETS UPSET AND CRIES
DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and live at home with my mom. My dad died last year, so my mom has had to get a job for the first time in her life. She has a job in an office and doesn't get home until around 5:30. This means that I've got to set the table, make the supper and wash the dishes after we eat. I also have to vacuum the house once a week and cut the lawn. All my mom does around the house is the laundry.
I don't think this is fair. When I talk to her about this unfair arrangement, she gets upset and starts to cry. Please answer my letter. It will mean a lot to me. — Anonymous, Oklahoma City, Ok.
ANONYMOUS: It's obvious that mom is going through a very difficult time. In losing her husband, she lost not only a life companion but also the family mainstay and source of financial security. Getting a job has meant taking on a brand-new role, that of the breadwinner. It's not surprising that she would feel overwhelmed by this: anyone would.
I realize that you have been saddled with a lot of chores and responsibilities, but do your best and don't complain. As time passes, the two of you will discover shortcuts to make the home tasks less demanding. For instance, crockpots and microwave ovens can produce excellent meals without a lot of preparation.
Hang in there and be a source of strength for your mom in her time of need. The two of you will get through these tough times better by hanging together and leaning on each other. Trust me! Your mom needs your support and love now more than ever.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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