DR. WALLACE: I am a retired teacher and enjoy reading your column so I can keep up with today's teens. I agree with much of what you say, but I strongly disagree with your "teachers shouldn't paddle" philosophy. When I was teaching, a wrap on the knuckles by a teacher or a paddle on the rump administered by the principal did wonders to keep unruly students on the straight and narrow path.
If I had a dollar for every time I wrapped someone's knuckles, I'd be one rich retired teacher. I believe in strong discipline, and corporal punishment is a tool of strong discipline. Did I change your mind? —Teacher, Atlanta, GA.
TEACHER: No. I, too, believe in strong discipline, but I still don't believe teachers or administrators should administer spankings or knuckle wrappings to any students ever. "Corporal Punishment" is wrong and there is no place for it in our education system. There are far more effective ways to maintain discipline and there are far too many potential negative side affects to corporal punishment. Educators should educate, parents should discipline. And parents should also seek to use other methods of discipline than "Corporal Punishment," as it often causes much more harm than good, especially over the long term.
I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF FUN
DR: WALLACE: I'm a 16-year-old girl. I'm fairly attractive, make good grades, am very religious and do my best to live by religious teachings.
My concern is that I'm not very popular and don't have a lot of fun. It seems all the popular kids drink, have sex and do drugs. I know these kids are doing things that are wrong, but there are moments when I feel left out and that I'm missing good times.
A lot of girls my age have dated a dozen guys, but I've never been invited to go on a date. I'm sure part of the reason is that my parents and my church have taught me that dancing is wrong. Sometimes when I'm in a down mood, I think I'll never go out on a date and I will wind up an old maid.
I guess what I need is a good old-fashioned pep talk and I've chosen you to do the talking. - Anonymous, Portland, ME.
ANONYMOUS: Sometimes faith is hard, and asks more of us then we think we can handle. I'll begin my pep talk was saying, be patient with yourself! You WILL go out on dates and meet nice boys, who not only respect but also share your beliefs. Does your church have social activities you can participate in? That would seem to be the natural place for you to start cultivating a social life.
From the outside, it may appear that everyone else is having fun, but believe me, those young people who drink excessively and do drugs will pay a price for their unhealthy and risky behavior — if not today, then in future years.
Over the years, I have received many, many letters from teens and young adults who once traveled that road, and their messages are always the same. They regret such behavior at a young age and they did not find peace and happiness until they took control of their lives. Only when they did so did they find what they and looking for all along: love. It begins with self-love.
You are right to stick to your principles and refuse to participate in unacceptable behavior in order to be accepted by the "popular" kids. I'm sure, however, there are many people at your school who are not part of that crowd and would welcome you as a friend. Perhaps you can find some extracurricular activities that would start putting you in touch with them. Remember, your religious faith should give you strength, not condemn you to a life of loneliness.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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