DR. WALLACE: I'm a 17-year-old girl and live alone with my mother. My parents were divorced about three years ago and my father has remarried.

I think my mother has a mental problem. For the past two years, she has refused to go out of the house — for any reason. That means I have to do all the shopping, for everything from groceries to medicine for her. We don't have a money problem because my father is a doctor and is generous with his support money. He usually gives us more than he's legally required to give. I've tried to get my dad to help her, but she has refused to have anything to do with him since he remarried.

All my mother does during the day is smoke, drink and take "pain pills." Her sister supplies her with the cigarettes, alcohol and nonprescription pills. I'm really concerned. I don't know how she will function when I go away to college next year. Mom doesn't look like a bag lady. She keeps herself neat and tidy and bathes every day. She just refuses to go out of the house. I've tried everything to get her to go to a movie with me or to ride in the car with me when I go grocery shopping, but it's no deal. I don't want to press my dad for any kind of help because I know he hates my mother and for good reason, but that's another story.

What can I do? — Bev, Portland, Ore.

BEV: There is a good chance your mother suffers from the anxiety disorder known as agoraphobia — the fear of being in public places. This condition often forces its victims to shut out the rest of society completely. Many turn to drugs or alcohol (or both) to ease the mental pain.

It is important that your mother receive professional treatment. Psychotherapy and, at times, prescribed medication can do wonders. Your best source of help and guidance could come from your father. Talk to him in person and ask him what the best way is for your mother to get the help she needs. Encourage your mother to ask for help as well. Personal problems are rarely resolved unless the person does so, after first admitting that a problem exists.

It's going to be difficult, but don't give up. It will be well worth it when Mom returns to her old self.

CONTINUE WRITING TO PEN PAL

DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and have a pen pal in Scotland who is also 17. It just so happens that she is a single mother with a 3-month-old daughter. I got her name from a teen magazine and we've been writing to each other for about a month. She seems highly intelligent and I'm glad to have her for a pal, but last week my mother found out that Lisa was an unwed mother when she read one of her letters. She was very upset and wanted me to stop writing to her. I asked her if I could please keep her as a pen pal because I was learning about Scotland. My mother said I should write to you and she would consider your advice. — Nameless, Vicksburg, Miss.

NAMELESS: Having a pen pal can be a wonderful experience and I encourage you to continue writing to your Scottish pal. Keep the letters friendly and informational.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.