DR. WALLACE: I really need your help. I'm 16 and have a difficult decision to make. I'm dating Tony who is a really nice guy and treats me like a lady. I like him very much.

About two months ago, I was dating a guy who treated me like dirt and all he really wanted from me was sex. Dylan told me to "get lost" because he was tired of looking at my "ugly face." Even though he was crude and didn't love me, I still loved him. He was very romantic and I never had sex until I met him. Once in a while he slapped me around, but he apologized and said he just wanted to keep me in line.

So here is my problem: Last night Dylan called me and apologized for the way he had treated me and he said that during the separation he discovered that he really loved me and wants to see me again. I really think that I love him, but something tells me that he is just looking for sex.

Tony is a real sweetheart. He is the perfect gentleman. He is never aggressive and he never expects anything more than a goodnight kiss. I'm thinking that I could really fall in love with him, but at the moment I think I still love Dylan. I really need your advice before I make a big mistake. Please help. — Confused, San Francisco, Calif.

CONFUSED: Dylan is a jerk who almost certainly is looking for sex as you suspect. But no matter what his reason for calling you — even if it's the one he stated over the phone (fat chance) — he is completely undeserving of your love. The only thing he has a right to ask of you is forgiveness.

You know this already, but I don't mind confirming it in print. The fact that you're with Tony now shows that you have overcome the serious lack of self-esteem that caused you to love a guy who regularly insulted and even hit you. Stay with Tony. You may come to love him, but more importantly, it's your best hope of learning to love yourself!

MY BOYFRIEND IS A RESPONSIBLE PERSON

DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and the guy I'm dating occasionally is 18. Next week we are going to my friend's surprise birthday party at the home of a mutual friend. About 20 kids are invited and the host's parents will be there until the party ends.

My parents are paranoid about booze being smuggled into teen parties. My boyfriend can pick me up and bring me home in his car after a date, but when we go to a party, one of my parents drives me to the party, and then home after the party ends. This makes me feel like a baby who needs to be watched over all the time.

My boyfriend is not a boozer. He only drinks occasionally and he never ever drinks when he is with me. He is a responsible person. To not allow him to drive me to and from a party is utterly ridiculous.

Don't you agree? — Leslie, Charleston, S.C.

LESLIE: I understand your frustration, but your parents have a point. Teens, alcohol and parties just seem to go together

For instance, in a survey conducted by Seventeen Magazine, 70 percent of the participants said that alcohol was readily available at parties they attended - whether or not it was chaperoned. And 59 percent said they had seen teens get behind the wheel after they had been drinking but, because of peer pressure, said nothing, even though it made them uneasy. This same pressure also causes "non-drinkers" to drink at parties.

If I were you, I wouldn't complain. Your parents aren't forbidding you to attend the party. They're just making sure you get home safely.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.