DR. WALLACE: I'm the oldest of four kids in our family, and our parents have some interesting rules. They definitely provide us a fair weekly allowance, but there's a catch. We have to "behave" the entire week. If we happen to make an error in judgment or character, we forfeit our allowance.

If we simply lost our allowance, and there was no further action, it wouldn't be so bad. But for some reason, our parents decided that anyone who loses a weekly allowance, that exact money is divvied up amongst the remaining siblings! As you can imagine, this creates a culture whereby a few are constantly looking to see if they can catch a penalty so that the allowance received in any given week can go up. My little brother, the youngest in our family, is always using his eyes to watch the other three of us to see if he can catch anything, so he can get more money at the end of the week.

The other day, my mother asked me to open a jar of pickles because the jar was very tightly sealed, and she couldn't open it. Usually, when she gives me this task, I succeed within the first 5 to 10 seconds and return the jar to her. But for whatever reason, this time the jar simply wouldn't open, so I kept trying, and as I gave it one final twist in an effort to open it, the entire jar slipped out of my hand, fell on the floor, and the glass went flying everywhere. I apologized immediately to my mother, and we both cleaned the mess up. We had to throw the pickles out because the shards of glass were everywhere.

My little brother heard the commotion and came bolting from his room to witness the cleanup. When my father returned home that evening, he told our dad that I was disqualified from allowance this week because I broke a big jar of pickles and made a huge mess. But once my father heard the exact story, he refused to penalize me because I was trying to help our mother, and it was a true accident and nothing I had planned to do intentionally.

My brother now refuses to talk to me, and whenever the subject of allowance comes up in our home, he simply shouts, "This game is rigged!" What can I do to get my unreasonable little brother to snap out of it and act like a normal family member around me? — His Immaturity Matches his Greed, via email

HIS IMMATURITY MATCHES HIS GREED: First of all, I've never heard of such an instance of if one sibling loses his or her allowance, the other siblings get to divvy up that cash. Frankly, I don't think that's a good policy at all. It would be better to simply let the person simply lose the amount owed to them.

But that being said, continuing to beg or pander to your little brother in an effort to have him act normally around you again is likely not only a waste of time, but in fact a form of enablement towards him. I feel you'd be better off letting him stew and sulk for a while, but just act nonchalantly around him as if it doesn't bother you in the slightest. And if you come home with a snack or a treat or something he enjoys, just casually offer some to him as if it's no big deal. At that point, he can accept your offer or continue to sulk and pout; it's entirely his choice. We all can choose our own attitudes; unfortunately, your younger brother opts to act out in this manner. Don't enable this behavior by giving it attention.

MY SISTER'S CRAZY STAINS SHOULD NOT BE MY PROBLEM!

DR. WALLACE: In our family, we have to take turns during the chores around the house because there are three siblings. My younger brother does his part and doesn't cause any trouble, but my older sister is another story. She plays on a softball team and even when they're out of season, she puts on her uniform and plays with her friends several times a week. She gets her uniform really, really dirty with all kinds of dirt and grass stains. I guess she dives trying to catch the ball or is sliding into bases or whatever she's doing, but her uniform is always filthy.

The last two times it was my turn to do the laundry, I washed everything, including her softball clothes, but she complained that I'm not getting the stains out properly! I did put a spray substance on them for a few minutes before I washed everything, but nothing is good enough for her!

Do you feel I should have to act like some sort of professional dry cleaner when it comes to her softball uniform when it's my turn to do the laundry? I feel that if she wants her softball uniforms done in a certain way, she should do them herself. What's your opinion? — My Sister's Uniforms are Hard to Wash Perfectly, via email

MY SISTER'S UNIFORMS ARE HARD TO WASH PERFECTLY: I agree with you in this instance. Your sister knows full good and well that her softball uniforms require a lot of extra care to try to make them perfectly clean, and even then, some deep grass or dirt stains are stubbornly hard to get out.

She could always wash her uniform separately herself without having to do any further laundry on the weeks that are not her responsibility. You may also want to explain this to your parents and gather any opinions they may have as well.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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