DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 years old and a good high school student. Recently, I've become very interested in learning some foreign languages, and I even dream of learning exotic languages that are rare for English speakers to become fluent in. I'd also like to use my language skills to help me with my career when I get older.

Would you recommend that I seek out one or two very exotic languages that very few people speak here in America, or would I be better off to go with some of the more usual foreign languages that are commonly spoken here in our country? — Interested in Developing Language Skills, via email

INTERESTED IN LEARNING LANGUAGE SKILLS: It really depends upon your major in college and what type of career path you anticipate pursuing in the long run. However, unless you already know that you plan to spend time in a specific foreign country overseas, I recommend that you learn to master three key languages that are the most widely spoken here in North America. Of course, one of them is English, and that is your native language. Therefore, the two I recommend you start studying immediately in school are Spanish and French. Learning these two languages will also provide you with a great foundational linguistic base should you wish to learn an additional language or two later on in your lifetime.

And if you are bilingual or trilingual by the time you graduate college, you'll be able to vastly benefit from your language skills in many potential career paths here in North America.

I DISAGREE WITH MY HUSBAND ON THIS ISSUE

DR. WALLACE: I'm the parent of an 18-year-old daughter. She lives with her stepfather, her 16-year-old brother and me in our family home.

Last weekend while I was out with my two best friends at a ladies' event, my daughter apparently came home about 11 p.m. with a distinct smell of alcohol on her breath.

Her stepfather noticed this but said nothing to her at the time. An hour later that evening when I got home from my event, he informed me about the situation. But by then she was already asleep in her room, so there was no discussion with her that evening.

At this point, I'm inclined to just let things go, but my husband feels that we should talk to her about responsible drinking and allow her to drink very small quantities of alcohol in our home, similar to how we have a glass of wine with dinner but never allow ourselves to become drunk. He feels she can learn to "handle" her "hooch," as he calls it. I was amused at his use of the word "hooch," but then I thought about my daughter's transgression in more detail and I was then in no mood to smile any longer.

I'm not sure his idea is valid since my daughter knows my rule is no alcohol until she's a legal adult of 21 years, and that date is still far away. Do you think his idea of asking her now to work on drinking responsibly at home, or mine of just ignoring this one instance, is the better way to go at this point? — Concerned Mother, via email

CONCERNED MOTHER: Frankly, I don't like either of the two answers you've provided given this particular situation. I absolutely disagree with your husband's idea to attempt to teach your daughter to drink responsibly by "practicing" in your home. I believe taking this action is a serious mistake since alcohol is a highly addictive drug that has brought grief and heartache to millions of families of teenagers for various reasons.

Your rule is that she's not allowed to drink alcohol at all, yet even though your husband noticed alcohol on her breath, your "plan" is to simply look the other way and say nothing. This also is a mistake, in my opinion.

I suggest that you speak to her about the situation directly and ask her the details of where she was and what she was doing. Find out the specific source of the alcohol so that you can understand what took place. It's important for your home rules to be followed even though she's a legal adult at 18. She's living in your home, therefore she should follow your rules, and the law is also aligned with your home rules in this regard.

Ignoring her drinking entirely sends a subliminal message that you will tolerate this. And as you go through this experience, keep in mind that your 16-year-old son will be watching how you handled this matter very, very carefully. Any implied consent you grant your daughter will be noticed by your son, and he'll assume it applies to him as well.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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