DR. WALLACE: I really need your advice about an issue I have with my boyfriend. I'm 19; my guy is 20; and the two of us have been dating each other steadily for six months. Everything was going along just beautifully until my boyfriend's cousin moved in with him at his small apartment along the outskirts of our small town.

This immediately caused a peculiar change in my boyfriend's behavior. All of a sudden, my attentive boyfriend has become "missing in action" when it comes to our relationship. He now seems to want to do everything with his cousin and almost nothing with me. It's as if a light switch has been turned off! I've spoken to him about this, and all he says to me is that he still loves me but I'm too possessive when it comes to his free time. We now only see each other briefly once or twice a week, and our dates always seem to be planned around his cousin's schedule.

I was just wondering if you feel this might just be a phase he is going through and I should cut him some slack, or if it's in my best interest to break up with him and look for a guy who will prioritize spending quality time with me. — Suddenly a Third Wheel, via email

SUDDENLY A THIRD WHEEL: You, of course, should do what you feel is in your own best interests when it comes to your relationships, and you know the breadth and depth of your current relationship's history and all its associated nuances. Based only upon the details of your brief letter, it appears that your boyfriend is in control of your relationship and its destiny.

You have the option of notifying your boyfriend that you will no longer be seeing him if your dates and personal time will only be scheduled around his cousin's availability.

Proactively suggest some specific times for upcoming dates that fit your schedule, and let your boyfriend know that you deserve his time and attention if he values your relationship the way you do. Say this matter-of-factly, with a smile and good tone of voice, in an earnest manner. You could even give him a hug right after delivering this information. The key for anyone of either gender who finds themselves in a spot similar to yours is to present a position in a way that is logical and nonaccusatory. Simply state the fact that a good relationship requires regular time and attention by both parties for it to be sustained. Smile and wait for both his verbal response and future scheduling actions. You'll soon have your answer!

If your boyfriend comes back to the realization that he loves you and values your relationship, he'll make the adjustments that you need to sustain a harmonious union.

If he still chooses to spend nearly all of his free time with his cousin over you, you'll know he does not value your relationship anywhere close to the way that you do. At that point, you'd have decisions to make, and I trust you'd quickly consider expanding your social circles. You'd be lucky to have found this out only six months into the relationship rather than much later on, with even more time and emotion invested in him.

MY FRIEND DRESSES PROVOCATIVELY

DR. WALLACE: My best friend and I have known each other for over 10 years. We've gone through a lot together and always remain friends, even through a few mild and mostly solvable disagreements. My friend tends to dress "sexy" all the time; she's always wearing clothes that draw attention to her. What's strange is that even though she dresses pretty provocatively, in her personal life, she's often shy and slow to go out on dates with anyone.

Wherever we go, I see many guys our age, and even some girls, turn their heads to get a good look at her. I've told her before that she should dress a bit more appropriately, but she doesn't want to listen to me. Is there anything I can say or do to get my friend to dress more respectfully in public? Sometimes when I look at her, I'm reminded of being in our high school soccer team's locker room! It's as if she goes out in public sometimes with only a part of her clothing on! — Loyal Friend, via email

LOYAL FRIEND: Even though your friend is dressing sexy, it doesn't mean that she is sexualized. She may just enjoy the extra attention she gets from people looking at her.

If you feel uncomfortable around her, you can always hand her a sweater and suggest she put it on. She might not take you up on your offer, but at least you'll get your point across.

The bottom line is you're free to make suggestions to her as her friend and she's free to dress as she wishes.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: scottwebb at Pixabay