DR. WALLACE: I love my parents very much, but sometimes, they can be very difficult for me to endure. I am 17 and an only child. My twin sister died two days after she was born. This likely caused my parents to be very cautious while they've been raising me.

First of all, I was not allowed to date until I was 16. Now, my parents have a rule that I can't date the same guy more than once a month. I also can't go steady, or even think about going steady, until my 18th birthday, as long as I am living "under their roof," as my father puts it.

My mom buys every "how to raise your child" book she can get her hands on. And you'll be happy to hear that my mom is a faithful reader of your column — and every advice column she can locate!

I feel the dating rules I am under are totally unrealistic and from another century. These outdated rules are definitely not in tune with today's dating patterns. I trust and hope that you will agree with me about all of this. If you have a slightly different take, then what do you feel would be an appropriate set of dating rules for me to have to live under here in 2020? My parents sometimes act like we are living in 1920! — Need Updated Rules, via email

NEED UPDATED RULES: It's obvious that your parents do not want you to get seriously involved with young men for a couple of years at this point in your life.

I feel their insistence you don't go steady until you are 18 is actually reasonable. Much too often, teens get involved with only one person, and they miss the opportunity to play the field and enjoy the company and friendship of many potential matches along the way. But limiting a dating partner to one date per month is a bit unrealistic, in my opinion. One date per week with the same suitor still falls within a reasonable range, as long as curfews are met on time and the date meets your parents briefly before and after each date.

Please also let your mother know that I appreciate and value her readership and interest in the column!

HAVE PARENTS TALK WITH GRANDPA

DR. WALLACE: My grandmother died recently, so my grandfather will be coming to live with us soon. I like him a lot, but sometimes, he is very grouchy. He doesn't like my friends because they're in a band and they have long hair. He constantly tells me that they're all bums and we'll all wind up behind bars someday.

My parents know all of my friends and approve of them. None of them do drugs or drink alcohol, and most of them plan to attend college. I'm not looking forward to my grandfather moving in with us, but there isn't much I can do to prevent it. Do you have any tips that could help me get along with my grandfather a bit better? I don't really know what to say to him. — Misunderstood Grandson, via email

MISUNDERSTOOD GRANDSON: If your grandfather can't see how disagreeable he is occasionally making things with his uninformed comments, your parents will have to set him straight — gently, of course. Your parents need to talk things out with him before he moves in and be sure they explain to him that they have vetted your friends. They can make sure he understands why your friends have their stamp of approval and the reasons they have earned that trust. This will hopefully reflect better on your grandfather's opinion of you, too.

If grandpa still makes the occasional negative comment, the best strategy is not to take the bait. Just smile and walk away. Whenever possible, invite one or two of your friends over specifically to meet your grandfather. Once he gets to know them — especially if they show an interest in him and treat him with respect — he'll almost certainly change his tune about them.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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