DR. WALLACE: Megan has been my best friend for many years. We are seniors in high school and will be attending the same university in September. She had been dating her boyfriend for over a year, but they broke up about a month ago because he said she was too bossy. He is now dating another girl, and this makes Megan very upset, especially because this girl and guy will both be attending the very same university in September also.
This guy is not my type, but we are friends. So now Megan wants me to call him and ask him out.
She said she'd rather have him go out with me than the girl he is now dating. Somehow, she thinks she could get him back if he was dating me. I think he would probably go out with me, but I'm not sure I want to get involved in all of this. It just seems weird and feels funky.
What do you think I should do? — Unsure Friend, Nashville, Tennessee
UNSURE FRIEND: Megan's scheme sounds like another example of why her guy broke up with her. When bossy people don't get their way with the direct approach, they often can become manipulative. She's still trying to control his life via this dating scheme she has cooked up and is trying to involve you in it.
You are correct to be hesitant about becoming involved with Megan's plan. It is dishonest, and the results could be unpleasant for everyone. Don't do it. I doubt there is any hope for the two of them to get back together, but if they do, it will have to be without trickery — especially on your part!
I'M INTERESTED IN SPORTS
DR. WALLACE: I'm 14, and my older sister is 16. She is very bright and always gets excellent grades. My grades are always just average or slightly above. This means that I'm put on restriction often and denied going to afterschool functions because I "need to get more study time," according to Mom and Dad. But even though I study a lot, I wind up with C's and the occasional B. During winter break, my mother wouldn't let me attend my best friend's Christmas party because I'm getting a C in English, instead of a B.
Because of her good grades, my sister gets to go anywhere and do anything she wants. I do love my sister, but we have different interests. She is active in most school activities, and all I'm interested in is sports. I'm a very good pitcher in softball, and I start as guard for the girls basketball team. Please tell me what I can do to get my parents to treat me more fairly. I'm trying the best I can in school, but my grades can't match those of my sister no matter how many hours I study. — Second to Sis, Houston
SECOND TO SIS: Not all siblings have the same capacity to get excellent grades.
Speak with your school counselor and administrator and share your dilemma. These professionals will understand. I suggest your parents meet with one or both of these educators who will enlighten them to the fact that punishing you for doing your very best in school is not the best way to encourage you to enjoy it or be viewed as an important family member.
I DID SOMETHING STUPID
DR. WALLACE: A nice girl and I had been dating for over seven months, and we were quite serious. Then one evening, I did something stupid, and we got into a huge argument. She was yelling at me. When she called me stupid, I reactively slapped her in the face so hard that her glasses fell off. When I took her home, she said she never wanted to see me again. The next day, her father called me and said that if I ever got near his daughter again, he would cause me great pain.
I really miss her, and I know that she misses me because I think she really loves me. I'm truly sorry for my stupid mistake and know it will be hard to get her back, but I am willing to do whatever it takes. I'm asking you how I can succeed in getting her to forgive me, and I know she will forgive me. I'm not a violent guy. This is the first time I ever slapped a girl. I don't know what came over me to hurt the one I love. — Sign Me: Moment of Anger, Weeks of Shame, via email
MOMENT OF ANGER: Your cowardly behavior with your ex-girlfriend is unforgivable. You are fortunate that you didn't wind up in jail because you committed an assault — which deserves some time behind bars, in most cases. Don't waste your time pursuing this particular young lady any further because she's not going to return to you. Instead, spend your time taking an anger management class, and then, once you can regain control of your emotions and actions, behave as a gentleman should when you are in the company of a lady from now on. Also consider yourself fortunate that her father only threatened you with "great pain." Some fathers wouldn't have been so lenient as to let you off with but a verbal warning.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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