It's Time to Act Your Age

By Dr. Robert Wallace

May 7, 2018 4 min read

DR. WALLACE: I'm a regular reader of your column and most of the time I disagree with you. I know I shouldn't be writing to you now, but I'm a very curious person. I'm 24 and recently met an attractive girl at a party at my cousin's house. She and I hit it off big time, and when I asked her out, she said yes. She is only 16, so I told her I was 18. I look really young and I have very little facial hair. We have gone out together three times so far and had a great time on all three of these dates.

Last weekend, I met her father for the first time. The first thing he asked me was how old I was. I told him I was 18 and then he asked me if I had a driver's license. I said yes and briefly flashed it to him, but didn't let him look long enough to see my birthdate.

I really want to continue seeing this nice girl, but I'm positive that her parents would force me to stop seeing her if they ever found out my true age. I'm thinking of telling her the truth sometime soon but will also ask her to not tell her parents. That way I could be 100 percent honest with her. I don't really care what her parents think; I just don't want them to stop us from going out together. If we truly get along so well, what difference do our ages make? — Nameless, via email.

NAMELESS: You are going to disagree with my comments once again. I'm sure you expected to, and I wonder why you bothered to write me at all. Given that you did take the time to write, I'll consider that a hopeful sign that you are open to changing your mind on this topic.

So listen up. You are an adult and should not be dating a teenager this young under any circumstances. The fact you had to lie to everyone, including this young lady, makes this painfully apparent. You have entered into a relationship dishonestly and selfishly. You can't ease your conscience by confessing your deception to this young lady and at the same time be asking her to say nothing to her parents. If she agrees with your ploy, this would only make her a party to your lie. If you truly cared about her, you would never consider putting her in a situation like that.

So do the right thing and stop seeing her. Find someone closer to your own age. I'm sure at some level you must realize it's time to act your age!

YOU CAN'T BE FORCED TO HAVE AN ABORTION

DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and will turn 18 in two months. I will graduate from high school in June and have been accepted at Arizona State University. However, my college education will have to go on hold because I'm two months pregnant.

My parents are devastated because I am an only child and they had high hopes that I would follow in their footsteps by eventually earning a degree in education. Both of my parents are demanding that I get an abortion immediately. I keep telling them that an abortion is out of the question. My distraught mother has told me that since I'm not 18 yet, she can go to court and force me to have an abortion. I don't think this is possible, but I'd like to be sure. Thanks in advance for your help in clarifying this matter for me. — Nameless, Phoenix, Ariz.

NAMELESS: Your parents cannot force you to have an abortion. No court would grant their request. Your parents are disappointed that your future is now unpredictable, but they must support your decision and should give you their unconditional love. I truly hope they do so very soon for your sake... and theirs.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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