DR. WALLACE: I've been smoking for the past three years, and I finally quit two months ago. I quit, not because of health matters or secondhand smoke concerns, or the fact that I could fall asleep smoking and burn my house down or that my clothes and hair smell like a furnace.
No, I quit smoking because even though I enjoyed cigarettes throughout the day, they cost too darn much! Now that I'm out of high school, have a job, must pay a fortune for gasoline and can't sneak cigarettes from my mother, I'm finally forced to quit smoking.
I never have heard you use the price of cigarettes as a deterrent to smoking. But at the prices they cost these days, it seems that only mostly rich people now smoke. — Crystal, Reno, Nv.
CRYSTAL: It really doesn't make much difference why you quit that nasty habit, only that you did quit and will hopefully now stick with that decision. You are now doing yourself a huge favor both financially and health-wise. Congratulations!
BROTHER CAUSES UNFAIR GROUNDING
DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and am being unfairly punished by my parents. Yesterday I went to our local mall to get a pair of shoes, and my 13-year-old brother went with me. While I was buying the shoes I wanted, my brother was caught stealing a pair of sunglasses from the same store. The man in charge called my mother and she came to the store and took us both home. Luckily, the police were not called and my brother got off with only a warning.
Now I'm in trouble because my mother says that I should've watched my brother more closely because we all know that he "steals" things. Well, I was busy and couldn't keep my eyes on him the whole time.
I've been grounded for two full weeks and all my little brother got was one swat on his rump and a similar two-week grounding. Do you feel this is fair? — Nameless, Merrillville, In.
NAMELESS: No, it is not fair! You should not have been punished for your brother's trouble. It's tough enough in this world to take care of oneself, let alone one's brother. Each of you should be responsible for your own actions.
Also, if the members of your family all know that "he steals things," then your parents should be responsible for getting your brother some help with this problem. It will not resolve itself by trying to watch over his every move alone.
DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl and my best friend is a guy. Whenever I have a problem or I just want someone to talk to, he is always there for me.
Last week he invited me to accompany him to his friend's graduation party. I really didn't want to go, but because he is a friend, I said yes. I ended up having a boring time. I really never want to go out with him again on a date.
I'm sure at some point he is going to ask me out again. How can I tell him no and still keep him as a good friend? It's very important that he doesn't desert me or feel hurt, as I truly like him as a really good friend. — Nameless, via email NAMELESS: If your friend should ask you out again, simply tell him that he is your best friend and you consider him to be like a brother to you and that you care for him very much, but you don't feel comfortable dating him.
I'm sure that this will bruise his ego, but it is important that he fully understands that your relationship with him does not include romance. Call him again in a few days to see how he is doing, then ask him to call you on a certain day at a certain time because you need his advice. Then have a "big problem" ready that you feel only a good friend could help you with. Surely there is something going on in your life that you can ask him for his advice on in confidence.
He will feel much better about things after he helps you solve your "problem." Truly good friends always have each other's backs. I trust he will step up to help you, and you will have done the very same by demonstrating to him how much you value his friendship, advice and counsel.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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